Mum dress like daughter challenge: When did mothers stop being women? [Opinion]

It started as a simple TikTok trend. Mothers wearing daughters' outfits, recreating their looks, and showing just how easily one could pass for the other. But beneath the laughs, applause, and comments like “Wow, mum is fine o!”, something deeper was uncovered. Something that touched a nerve.

People weren’t just admiring the beauty of these mothers. They were shocked. Shocked that these women, usually seen in oversized wrappers, headscarves, or clothes two sizes too big, could actually be this stunning. And for many of us, it begged the question: When did mothers stop being women?

In our society, once a woman becomes a wife and a mother, she is expected to fold herself into a version of femininity that’s as unnoticeable as possible. “Dress your age”, they say. And what does that look like?

Dull. Desexualised. Covered up. Tired.

It means no makeup unless it’s on special occasions. No fitted dresses. No high heels, and certainly no bodycon gowns. It means tying wrappers, wearing shapeless bubus, and silently fading into the background while raising children and keeping the home.

It’s as if the moment a woman becomes “somebody’s wife,” she must surrender all signs of womanhood, of desirability, youth, and beauty. She's no longer allowed to be seen as a sensual being. She becomes useful, dutiful and respectable. But not herself.

But now, the internet is breaking that image.

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These videos of mothers twinning with their daughters are doing more than just entertain. They’re confronting the lie that women must grow dull to be respected.

People are finally seeing their mothers as women again. Women with great legs, with lovely figures, with beautiful smiles that society made them tuck away in the name of motherhood.

One comment even said:

“Kate Henshaw isn’t even that special. She just never let society kill her shine. Now we’re seeing our mums could’ve looked just as hot if they didn’t have to ‘dress like mothers’.”

That’s it right there.

It’s not that our mothers weren’t beautiful. It’s that they were not allowed to continue looking beautiful. And many of them believed the lie.

In response to the challenge, some Nigerian men have started posting things like:

“Na until one of una mama get belle for your boyfriend before una go learn.”

These men are not hiding their discomfort. The idea of a woman, especially a wife or mother, being seen as attractive or youthful is threatening to them. Why? Because society taught them that the older married woman should be invisible. 

That sex appeal should be for side chicks, not wives. That a woman’s glow-up ends at marriage, and anything after that is suspicious.

So, it’s not just about clothing. It’s about control.

Mums, Listen up! You were women first

Before you were a wife, before you became a mother, you were a woman. A full human being with dreams, desires, and a right to self-expression.

Why should that stop?

Why must your body only be admired on your wedding day and disappear under wrappers after your first child?

Why is your sense of style considered “irresponsible” just because you now have responsibilities?

A lot of Nigerian women are dying quietly. Not physically, but emotionally. They’ve let go of their own needs, creativity, style, and joy. And society keeps clapping for them in the name of being a “good woman.”

But that needs to change, and this piece is a reminder to women that youthfulness is not a sin. Beauty is not reserved for single girls. Fashion is not cancelled by motherhood. And respect should not be tied to how covered up you are.

Mums, you’re allowed to look good. Wear that red lipstick, wear jeans. You’re allowed to exist outside the kitchen and PTA meetings. You don’t owe society dullness just because you have children.

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To daughters and sensible sons, let our mothers be women again. Encourage her, celebrate her, take her shopping! Tell her she doesn’t need permission to wear what makes her feel like herself again.

She’s just a girl at the end of the day.