5 lies Nigerian men need to stop believing about sex

A lot of Nigerian men learnt about sex from the streets, porn, and social media banter. There was no proper education, no safe space to ask real questions, and definitely no guide on how to unlearn the rubbish we were taught.

So, what do we have now? A generation of men moving through life with dangerous myths about sex. Men who think it’s all about ego, control, and proving a point. But the truth is, many of those beliefs are hurting your confidence, your relationships, and your ability to actually enjoy intimacy.

If you’ve ever measured your manhood by how long you last or how many women you’ve slept with, this is for you. 

Here are 5 lies Nigerian men need to unlearn ASAP.

1. “Sex is a performance; you must always last long.”

No lie has messed with men's heads more than this one. Every guy thinks he has to go multiple rounds, with no breaks and no mercy. But sex isn’t a performance, it’s an experience.

There’s no stopwatch in the bedroom. What matters is mutual pleasure and connection, not how long you can pretend you're in an X-rated scene.

Also, let’s stop shaming men for finishing quickly. It happens. If it’s frequent, you can work on it. But sex is not an Olympic event, and lasting long doesn’t make you more of a man.

2. “Women don’t enjoy sex as much as men.”

Wrong. Just flat-out wrong.

Women feel desire. Women enjoy sex. Women want pleasure. But many Nigerian men were raised to believe that sex is something you do to a woman, not with her.

If you still think your partner is just lying there “enduring it” for your sake, you’re not only wrong, you’re missing out on a deeper, more satisfying connection. Trust me, when you prioritise her pleasure, everything changes.

EXPLORE MORE: Why do men think women who enjoy sex are 'wild'?

3. “A real man has slept with many women”

This one is rooted in pure insecurity.

Some men wear body count like a badge of honour. But being sexually experienced doesn’t automatically make you emotionally intelligent, respectful, or even good in bed.

Truth is, a high body count doesn't mean you're skilled, it might just mean you're reckless. There’s nothing manly about treating people like trophies.

You know what’s really attractive? Respect, self-control, and knowing how to connect with one person deeply. That’s grown man energy.

4. “Foreplay is not necessary”

Nigerian men, let’s talk. Rushing in isn’t sexy, it’s selfish. Many women need foreplay to put them in the mood, physically and emotionally. Jumping straight to penetration without warming her up? That’s how you end up with an uninterested partner and an awkward silence after.

Foreplay isn’t optional. It’s the main event for many women. Kissing, touching, talking dirty, teasing, it all adds to the build-up. And if she’s enjoying it, chances are, you will too.

SEE THIS: 21 Foreplay Tips to Please Her in Bed

5. “You should already know what to do, asking is weak”

This is why so many men fake confidence in bed while both partners are silently disappointed.

Asking your partner what they like doesn’t make you weak. Every woman is different. What worked for one won’t work for another.

Sex is meant to be a conversation, not a guessing game. Saying “do you like this?” or “should I slow down?” is not begging. It’s called communication, and it’s sexy as hell.

Real men unlearn, relearn, and evolve

Let’s cut through the ego. Being good at sex isn’t about size or stamina. It’s about communication, awareness, honesty, care and genuine interest in the person you’re having this experience with.

The sooner you let go of the lies, the better your sex life, and your relationships, will be. It’s time to stop performing and start connecting.

You don’t have to know it all. But you do have to care enough to learn.

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