Juggling between relationship & career - how to make her understand your struggles

Let’s face it: being a Nigerian man (or any ambitious man) these days is like auditioning for a superhero movie no one paid you for. One moment you're trying to close a deal on Zoom, the next moment you’re on WhatsApp replying, “baby, you’ve changed.”

Balancing a demanding career with a relationship is a real-life struggle. You want to be the supportive, romantic partner who remembers all the “good morning” texts, but you also want to be that focused professional who's not living on instant noodles and vibes.

So, how do you make her understand that you're not ignoring her on purpose - you're just trying to build a future for both of you? Let’s break it down to help you.

1. Communicate

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As simple as this word sounds, it has become a lead cause of relationship disagreements. We all want to know what our partners are doing and why they're doing it, so if you don’t explain your schedule, she will create her own storyline (and trust me, it will include plot twists). You can't just vanish for 10 hours and expect her to understand when you reappear. Tell her what will keep you away beforehand so she doesn't think you're ghosting her and make a big issue out of it.

2. Set realistic expectations 

It's okay to be intentional about making our partner happy. That's the whole essence of being in a relationship. But the problem arises when you begin to overpromise and underdeliver. Why promise her a Netflix marathon when you already know you'll need to attend a 6 AM meeting the next day? Instead, tell her you can't afford to spare that time now. Reschedule if possible. This way, you're saving her from disappointments that can make her stop trusting you.

3. Involve her in your hustle 

Yes, I know; it's your hustle, and you don't owe anyone explanations on why or how you handle it. But it still makes sense to keep her up to date with everything about you (including your hustle). Share a few details about your work life - without turning her into your personal HR manager. Share with her your small victories and big challenges. When she feels part of your journey, she’s more likely to support your busy moments instead of competing with them

4. Surprise her (even in the smallest ways) 

Busy doesn’t mean boring. You can still drop random sweet messages, order her favourite shawarma, or send a voice note that says, “Just thinking of you while pretending to listen in this endless meeting.”

These little efforts show her that no matter how tight your schedule gets, she still has a VIP section in your heart.

Conclusion 

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Juggling a career and a relationship is like balancing a hot plate of jollof rice and a chilled bottle of malt - both are precious, and both require steady hands.

The key is honest communication, small but consistent efforts, and remembering that she’s not your enemy. She wants to support you - you just have to help her understand your daily hustle.