Food wars: Pounded yam, semo and eba discuss who the best swallow is

Fufu and Amala are left outside because they are believed to be lower tier swallows.

Pounded yam speaks: "In my life, I have never met any swallow that smells as badly as Fufu."

"Only miscreants with no sense of smell will gobble up such foul-smelling swallow and let us not get started with amala that tastes like sandpaper."

Pounded yam continues; "We are here to debate the best swallow food in Nigeria and without contention. I am the best, I am the priced meal everyone loves. They save me for occasions like weddings, birthdays and festive periods."

Eba laughs.

Pounded yam: "Why are you laughing?"

Eba: "You are old and forgotten. No one even eats you anymore. Some can spend a whole year without eating you."

"But me? I am always handy. Always in every home. I can be made in five minutes. I can be eaten hot or cold. In the morning, I even taste better. I am indispensable."

Semo: "Not with all those sands and grains you are, Eba. Eating you can feel like chewing grains of sand."

Eba: "Not you talking Semo. This is truly a case of mistaken identity because what are you really?"

"It seems like you have imposter syndrome. You want to be pounded yam so much but you can’t be."

Pounded yam: "It is interesting to watch you minions yap like this but if people had to slave away to eat you, you will never be eaten. If it is only once a year I am eaten, I am fine with that."

"If you ask anyone, they will tell you I am the best."

Semo sits quietly in a corner, feeling insecure and unloved, as usual.