My mum remains just as adamant as ever and I don’t want to marry against her wish. Please help me.
I’m in a kind of dilemma right now. My mum does not like my girlfriend because we are not from the same tribe.
But I cannot leave her because not only do I love her so much, she has been there for me so much and the understanding and respect between us is not something I think I can find someplace else.
She helped me a lot when we were in school and even after we graduated. We both have jobs now so it’s not like I am still dependent on her for stuff… but I just feel I owe her something… I can’t leave her.
And my mum remains just as adamant as ever and I don’t want to marry against her wish. Please help me.
There can be no two ways about this; if you are old enough to contemplate marriage, you are old enough to make decisions for yourself regardless of your mother's opinion.
I know... we are supposed to respect our parents and stuff... but they are supposed to respect us too. The time has come, I think, when your parent is supposed to consider how you feel and not just impose her will on you like that.
In my opinion, I think you should try to pacify her, explain things to her again [I'm sure you must have done that before] and make her see reason why that woman is perfect you. If she loves you, she won't try to deny you happiness.
Talking about reason, I hope you are not determined to marry this girl just because you think you owe her something in return for all the good stuff she has done for you?
Please let that not be the only reason why you are marrying her. You can't pledge your lifetime to someone as a repayment for the good stuff they did to you in the past.
It's good to be appreciative and all, but please marry her majorly because you love and see a future with her, not just because you want to pay her back for her good deeds.
Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?
Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?
Just send a mail to firstname.lastname@example.org and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.
So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?
A problem shared is a problem half-solved!