A little secret to keeping the love, attraction and affection in your relationship/marriage at 100% always.
I like to refer to this as the Fading Affection Syndrome.
Almost a 100 times out of 100, relationships hit a snag after a stage that has aptly been referred to as the ‘honeymoon phase.’
The honeymoon phase is a concept that tries to explain the heady, giddy feeling you get in a new relationship/marriage.
The comfortable wings of bliss on which you float; taking your time to breathe in the freshness of new romance... that feeling of coasting easily, effortlessly through time, barely feeling anything else but some sort of perfection, completion; absolutely protected in an impregnable Eldorado, a cocoon of limitless happiness…
Everyone goes through this thrilling, early phase and would love it to continue for life but for many couples, it doesn’t.
And one major explanation for this is in the fact that along the line in their relationship, partners often become too comfortable with each other.
Sure, the aim of being in a relationship or even marrying the love of your life is to create a merger of your individualities to create a beautiful, enviable partnership. And to achieve this requires getting at ease with each other and becoming absolutely comfortable around each other.
Ironically, this still has a way of affecting your relationship negatively, if taken to the extreme.
The secret to staying constantly happy for years in a relationship lies in not taking your partner for granted, no matter how much time has passed, how much of them you’ve seen, or even how deep your worlds have been submersed into each other’s.
There was a newness, something novel about the relationship when it began… you should always try to re-enact.
There was something mind-blowing, alluring, even sexy about your appearance and something was potently appealing about the way you dressed; there was something about the way you spoke to her and took care of her heart that made her fall for you… you can’t stop trying to do that.
If you love your relationship and intend for it to last long, you just can’t.
Those little things that you used to do for each other without batting an eyelid in the beginning - the hand holding, random kisses, the thoughtful little gifts, the random "I love you's," and other love things that gave those early days that exhilarating feel - you have to make yourself not stop doing them.
Of course, as time goes on, your souls will become so deeply connected that familiarity will set in but you can’t let it be the type of familiarity that cripples the relationship and robs it of potential growth.
There is a type of familiarity that enables you see your partner in a light that even they do not see themselves in. A kind of familiarity that enables you understand them than any deep discussion or late night convo could ever reveal and helps you know how to love them in measures they couldn’t ever have taught you to.
Of course you know which of these forms of familiarity to allow breeding space in your relationship.
Truth be told, the longer the relationship lasts, the more effort you’ll need to put into keeping your relationship on a new new but that’s the secret. It’ll be way easier to do this when you have a partner who also understands this and puts in the required work too instead of taking you and your efforts for granted.
For without combined efforts to stick together and make things work through thick and thin, you really might not be able to stay in love and in that relationship for longer than the honeymoon phase.