Traditional views

We live in the part of the world where we've grown with lots of abiding traditions. So when someone tries to break it, chins would be up observing. And when it doesn't turn out well, there is a cuss out.  It is originally recorded that "wives, submit to your OWN husbands" Also "he (not she) who finds a wife (not husband) finds a good thing and obtains favor. So why the impatience, why desperate, why try to change it?. Is this a way of getting awarded by the Guinness World records for Africans?

Emerging trends

Few days into the new year,  a video of a lady who went on her knees to propose to her boyfriend in public glare and was turned down went viral. It was such a painful rejection and those who were cheering on say yes! say yes! Began to console her. She would be so embarrassed of herself for a long time to come.

Even if you wanted to break the norm, why not try your experiment in your home or at a private dinner, then return to the public to announce it worked for you. We've also had men who got rejected too and they were laughed at and cussed for proposing without finding out if his partner was ready. It's so heartbreaking.

Are you prepared?

Before you ask you partner to marry you, How do you know he/she is ready to accept the bombshell you're about to drop before him or her? Not everyone is ready for this huge commitment MARRIAGE. Some are ready but scared to commit. Even when the answer is yes, you put a ring on it, few days to the arranged date someone gets a cold feet. It isn't easy. It's not something you think in your head that you are ready and so your partner should be without consulting the other party. It isn't one sided, it is for both parties involved in the relationship. If you think you are ready,  wait on the other to be ready. You both need to be mentally ready. Help each other  get ready gradually that's how it works.

Sometimes, we blame it on our parents who are so eager to kick you outta the house because you have overstayed your welcome. They hunger for grandchildren, they hunger for the yearly omugwo series in your homes. They want to gist with friends whose children are married and brag about how you take care of them and how they love their in-laws.

There is time for everything, just wait on your turn. When you love someone, work at the relationship, fight for it but don't be desperate about it. Hold on to who you love because finding real love is so rare. Your attitude attracts the right person. Love hard with wisdom and know you tried your best. And for the ladies,  a confident woman is irresistible.

Written by Odawayi Ukandu

Odawayi Ukandu is a creative writer, lover of arts&culture, food, traveling and is addicted to cakes and ice cream. You can link me up on Instagram; @odawayi,  twitter;@amakaukandu and on my personal blog lifestyleofanaijagirl.wordpress.com