Pop culture and the conversation about females supporting each other

Yemi Alade, Tiwa Savage, Seyi Shay, Waje, Omawumi…these are the names of the ladies currently leading Nigeria’s pop culture as female musicians. You can extend that list to include Eva Alordiah and Chidinma, for branding purposes, rather than consistent music release. These women are regarded as being at the height of mainstream music, with their names almost exclusively popping up in every conversation involving music in Nigeria among females.

Linda Ikeji’s case with Wizkid might have been a poor attempt by a woman to elevate pettiness and banter to an activist level by screaming ‘violence against women’, before running off into the night and returning with the police to ruin his Drake-inspired celebrations. Social media made their voice loud, and ultimately Linda Ikeji’s hypocrisy was brought to light.

But let’s imagine an alternate world, where both the genders and occupation were reversed, with the male blogger attacking the female singer. Would we have a bevy of musicians stand up for her? I don’t think so.

Females are uber competitive. Women compete, compare, undermine and undercut one another — at least that is the prevailing notion of how we interact. It’s considered exceptional, or at least noteworthy, that famous women like Amy Schumer and Beyoncé and Taylor Swift acknowledge that other women are talented, and frequently work with those other women without, in most cases, being catty about it. This makes them feminist heroes. Feeling on guard around other ladies is normal for a lot of women, and according to them, it’s exhausting.

A literature review by Tracy Vaillancourt in 2013 found that women by and large express indirect aggression toward other women, and that aggression is a combination of “self-promotion,” making themselves look more attractive, and “derogation of rivals,” being catty about other women.

There are two main theories of why women are competitive in indirectly aggressive ways. Evolutionary psychology, which uses natural selection to explain our modern behaviors, says that women need to protect themselves (read: their wombs) from physical harm, so indirect aggression keeps us safe while lowering the stock of other women. Feminist psychology chalks up this indirect aggression to internalizing the patriarchy. As Noam Shpancer writes in Psychology Today, “As women come to consider being prized by men their ultimate source of strength, worth, achievement and identity, they are compelled to battle other women for the prize.” In short: When our value is tied to the people who can impregnate us, we turn on each other.

In Nigerian music, this holds true, but the value system isn’t just tied to the men in their personal space. It’s tied to thousands of fans. Very few Nigerian female artistes would agree to show support for one another. Deep down, they experience guilty joy in the downfall of their counterparts. The media does not seek to change this also.

Last year, Tiwa Savage took time out to become a mother, and while she was out, no credible news outlet failed to compare the growth of Yemi Alade, and Seyi Shay to her status. Innuendoes were created to make the duo look like gender winners. Waje and Omawumi have also been put in a box, regarded as outliers in the conversation. What about the rest? Zaina, Niniola, Immaculate, Toby Grey, Saeon, Yung Greyc, and many others? They are not given their due.

This coverage makes for good conversations, and opens up media ideas, thereby generating readership. But what it inherently does is to isolate these women, fuel their competitive spirits, and ultimately tear them apart. The general defense is that the female musicians are doing a good job of that already without aid, what will a little support from the media do?

This will be good time to address that in the music industry. It’s time for the women to come forward as a group and create new ways to grow their art, within their gender. Just like cases of gender discrimination, and female objectification, this is an uncomfortable conversation. But the perpetuation of it creates far more discomfort for the women involved. Separating one’s art from ideas and behaviours are one thing, not seeking to create meaningful solutions is another.