Help! My girlfriend has imposed a year-long sex strike on me

Dear Bukky,

I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over two years now and I love her so very much. I never hide my affections and feelings from her, I always remind her of how beautiful and lovely she is plus I always give her assurances of my love for her. 

We haven't had sex in like a year now and me being me, I have been sexual active for a while now, I rarely get turned down by my former sexual partners whenever I want to make love.

My kind of person, when I'm in a relationship I don't cheat on my woman, I always give her that respect but I try to make sure she understands I have a high libido and she can try to make me happy and make our relationship sail on the right track. 

I have tried to have conversations with my girlfriend as to why she doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Countless times it ends up with arguments and she doesn't talk to me for days. I always have to apologise to her before we get back together.

I have asked her if it's about work load or something personal but she always tells me the same thing that she's not interested. Bear in mind when we used to have sexual intercourse I always try to communicate with her to understand what she likes and how best I can please her, I never make our love sessions about my satisfaction alone. 

The issue now is this is the longest time I have gone without sex, I feel low on confidence, I am cranky all the time and I am very unhappy and nervous. I take her out I try to make her happy and get her gifts but she still won't make love to me.

Even the gifts I get her she doesn't use them she rather use and take gifts from her other make friends which I have complained about profusely but I always let it slide because I don't want to come off as overbearing and having low self-esteem. 

She has asked me several times to get sex outside which I have refused and now she wants to break up with me. I love her so much but I can't take it anymore. She doesn't want to make any compromises for me which I always do for her but at this juncture my guts is saying I should move on while my emotions is saying I should stay, after all I have invested so much into this relationship, emotionally and time-wise.

What do I do please?____________

Dear reader,

The handwriting is on the wall. I know it’s difficult to read and even more difficult to accept what this means for you, but it’s what you must do. You’ve got to leave her and move on to something less negative.

This is a relationship between two incompatible people, and this is not just in the obvious sexual context.

If she refuses to communicate while you are all for open communication, it shows you are not on the same page. If she’s asking you to go sleep with other women when you would rather stick to her, that’s yet another problem.

Again, she’s taking gifts from other men and utilizing them while ignoring yours and not caring about how this makes you feel… it’s a toxic relationship behavior, too.

If all you wrote in your email is true, dear reader, it’s better to let go of that woman than force the relationship.____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

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