"My girlfriend of 10 years says she wants a break"

Hello Bukky,

My name is Paul. I've been in a relationship for 10 years but I can't seem to understand my girlfriend at all. We are are yet to be married but she constantly complains that she's tired of the relationship and needs a break.

She says I don't make her feel like a princess in our relationship and I'm not caring enough  but I know I'm caring.

Please I need your advice, what do I do?

Paul.

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Hello Paul,

Ten years is a very long time and a lot of effort must have been contributed towards make things work between both of you.

If you see a future with her, this is not a time to back out now. When you say don't understand your girlfriend, it means your relationship has a high chance of falling apart. Rather than complaining, see it as a starting point to get to know each other better.

Think about it, what were you doing in the past that kept your relationship alive, do you still do them? Have you asked her to tell you what you can do to make her happier in your relationship?

Do you notice her mood and know when she's been bothered or unhappy? You may think you are doing the right thing , but sometimes you need feedback from your partner to validate to claim that you really care for her.

My advice would be to have a proper discussion with her, ask her to tell you things that'll make her stay and not throw away all you've shared over the years. And in turn, let her know how you really feel about the situation of your relationship.

Sometimes a break in a relationship is needed to put your thoughts in order and determine the way forward - if you want to stay or leave.

If she still insists on taking a break then you have to respect her wishes but let her know how her decision would affect your relationship.

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