Pulse First Love: I fell for him after a huge, messy fight

#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried being in a relationship.

Today’s #PulseFirstLove nicely typifies the saying that there’s a thin line between love and hate. Our subject tells us how she and her first boo went from initial disgust to sweet romance and we absolutely love to see it. This is the 24t edition of this series. All earlier stories are just as beautiful - and they're all here.

Tell me about your current relationship

I’m currently not in a relationship with anyone but I’m seeing one boy like that sha. I don’t even know what we’re doing. We’re sha talking and hanging out once in a while. We’ll see where that leads.

Random stuff but how many talking stages do you think you have left in you?

LOL. See question.

But lowkey it’s valid

Actually it is. But I have just never thought about it. See I don’t know o, but at 28, I don’t think I have much of it left. And this is not me entering into desperation mode oh, it’s just that at this point, having been with a couple of guys and seeing the experiences of my friends and other women, my understanding of what I want for myself in a relationship has increased, and I know better than what I did, say, 5 years ago or so. So I’m a lot more intentional about these things. It doesn’t mean I’ll get everything right, but at least I won’t be leaving a lot to chance as I used to do when I was a lot younger.

I feel you. When was the first ever time you were in love with someone?

Love as in love or just crush?

I meant love but yeah tell me about the crush first

This particular one wasn’t my first crush but it was the one that was most memorable. I must have been 17. Lol. I can never forget this man walking into our church with his wife and I was like… wow wow wow. You know how someone literally catches your attention and holds you spellbound? That was it. I kept turning my neck to look at him at every opportunity. He was such a good looking man.

Mad.

Oh I forgot to mention, they were a newly married couple and that was their first time of coming to the church. They had just moved into the neighbourhood of the church. Of course, it was later I got to know all of this.

Oshey Fashlock Holmes

Lol. It was a small local parish. The type where everyone knows everyone. And yeah, it was RCCG.

Hahaha. Has to be. So did this crush make you misbehave in any way?

Misbehave ke? No nau. It was just a teenage crush kinda thing. Besides, he was a married man, possibly in his 30s at the time and his wife had the scariest, bitchiest resting-bitch-face ever. Bruh, that woman was like a wicked mother hen guarding her chicks.

LMAO. DFKM.

And to top it all off, my parents were mad disciplinarians especially when I and my sisters were teenagers. You know how Nigerian parents are with girls wey just dey develop. So, no. I comported all through. He surely could never have guessed that I even had that crush on him till the thing died a natural death. By the time the thrill of seeing them wears off and they’re no longer new, see finish enters and the crush fades away. Also you outgrow such thing.

Facts. So let’s talk about the first time you fell in love

It was with one stupid big headed boy like that. Lol. Still from the church, too.

That’s a lot of church

Ah, yes o. I grew up in that kind of home.

The question is who didn’t?

LMAO. Shebi! So we were deeply religious, involved in a lot of church activities, all of that stuff that Nigerian parents consider to be the best way to raise responsible kids. I still like doing churchy stuff till now too. I guess, that one stuck with me.

Oh that’s sweet. So about that big head

Lol, yeah. We were all teenagers in the church now. We would sometimes be involved in teenagers’ activities and I could already tell that he liked me. He never missed an opportunity to get me stuff at those meetings - biscuits, drinks, you know, just stuff a teenager would be able to afford. I didn’t hate him but I didn’t like him like that either but he grew on me. Ironically, it was after we had this massive fight that we now fell in love.

ALSO READ: First Love - His love changed to intense hatred after we broke up

Interesting. Tell me about that

Omo. I feel some type of way recollecting all this. Lol.

Norms

Anyway, we went to RCCG camp and one afternoon sha we were all together, both the boys and the girls and someone dared him to tap my butt and this boy actually did. Omo, I was livid. I was yelling and insulting him like mad. It was as if the heavens would come down that day. I was still not speaking with him till the camp ended. He begged and begged until one bros intervened few months later and we started speaking again. He still felt so remorseful so he became extra nice to me. From there sha, his calls became more frequent, he’d text, send airtime, we’d talk a lot, exchange messages. And soon enough, I began to look forward to his calls and texts, and look forward to seeing him. Na so them get me o.

Lmao. So from intense hatred to sweet romance?

You know what they say, there’s a thin line between love and hate.

Hmmm. Facts only. How was you people’s relationship?

Very nice, really. Positive vibes for the most part. Like I said already, he was super nice to me and all. I think him seeing how crazy I could be when I was angry helped. Lol. And in a way, it helped keep him in check. That’s one thing with men, they’ll walk all over you if they think they can.

Ah

Lol. It’s true now. That’s how you people do. So I think that fight helped foster a deeper sense of respect between us and bring us a lot closer. It was as if since we’d explored one extreme, we just moved to the other extreme which was deep affection and romance.

Love to see it. How old were you during all of this?

18. Both of us were 18.

Most people started having sex as teens. Was it the same for you?

Yes, actually.

With this same guy?

Funny enough, no. The first time was someone else. But yeah, we were having sex in this relationship. Not so great sex. LOL. He used to fumble around and I wasn’t particularly experienced enough to know that it was meant to be a million times more pleasurable than what I used to feel then. But now I know. All the sex I had in my teens… shitty.

LMAO. I appreciate the honesty. You should read this series on sex from a female perspective that I do weekly. It’s called Women Teach Sex.

Oh really?

Yeah.

Nice, I’ll check it out.

You really should. So how did you guys break up?

Loool. You didn’t even ask if we're still together. Na wa o. Oh ye of little faith.

You already told me that you are single. LMAO.

Oh shit. That’s true. Sorry.

No offence taken. So the breakup

We had to go to school. And it was not easy to keep up but we tried a bit sha. By the end of the sixth month sha, we had to end it. Drama was already creeping up and obviously we were both just trying to hang on to a dead entity.

Did your love life get influenced in any way by this relationship?

I have never considered this but now that I think of it, I think that was a lesson in not throwing things/people away before giving them a chance to redeem themselves. I mean, if I had obstinately refused to forgive him, none of this would have been part of my story. So I think if anything, it’s my reference point on my importance of second chances.

When was the last you heard of him

He’s married now. We follow each other on social media.

If you could go back in time, what would you do differently?

Nothing. I am a forward-looking person. My life is exactly how it is meant to be. So yeah, I’d change nothing.

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Get all First Love Stories here. We highly recommend this particular one.