To be a mentor is to be a trusted advisor. It involves making yourself available for support and advice when they need it. Mentor can mean a lot of different things to different people but it all boils down to making yourself available, rendering support and advice when they need it.

We must know that not everyone is up for mentoring because it takes serious dedication with right morals and attitudes.  Time creation, patience and maturity is needed because not all situation will be easy to handle.

Mentor can be anybody as long as he/she is an excellent and trusted advisor. It can be a colleague, friend, parents, teachers, professor, a coach. But think of what made them stand out, was it the examples they set. Or is that they understood your communication, working style and goals.

Mentoring relationship can last for years. By Mentoring relationship I mean the relationship between a mentor and a mentee. When you mentor someone long term, you get to know and understand the person more, the learning style and goals which can set the mentor up to offer relevant advise over time.

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But mentorship doesn't have to be long term, it can also be short term  like when someone needs help working through maybe relationship problems/misunderstanding, it can also be problem with the boss or co-worker.

No doubt in any relationship there are down times or awkward moments, boredom sets in. You find you have less to talk about. Mentoring relationship are no exceptions. Most especially when the mentoring relationship hit nine months. Issues tends to arise and that is why there's need for assessment/check-in.  Sometimes you come to the fact that you can't help those who are not ready to help themselves and that is the more reason for maturity in Mentoring

Why we need Mentors

1. Mentors are needed to encourage people's ambition, boost their confidence and keep them on track by helping them set goals and work towards achieving them

2. Many of these mentee do not know they have the power and all it takes to be who they want to be. As a mentor you open their eyes to how possible it is.

3. By reaching out to mentors. I mean trusted and dedicated ones. Your future is in good hand.

4. Some lack confidence, self believe. Mentors are need to encourage them to be ambitious.

5. Mentors support in developing other skills such as Communication, leadership and active listening skill.

6. Mentors provide what I call independent advice and guidance on issues such as relationship, career, fulfilment, self believe etc to young people.

7. They provide professional socialization and support to facilitate change,  development and success.

8. Many do not know that they have the power to rise above their circumstances, they have the power to crush all challenges and overcome.

When you Mentor put these to actions.

1. There must be schedule of appointment in which you see your mentee. Time must be spent efficiently by discussing real issues that promotes life. As a mentor give them opportunity to talk about what is going on with them

2. Study them-  if you notice any changes in their behavior or any sign of physical harm, encourage them to talk about it and take action where and when necessary.

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3. Build up trust-  you have to be trusted by your mentee and they must also trust you. It's a two way thing, and that is why you need to start on a friendly term, talk about general issues that are not too personal to them. Always say the truth and keep your promise.

4. Listen to what they have to say but with respect. Show interest in what they say and guide them to listen to you. Then push the word of wisdom to them to make them feel better.

5. Encourage them-  about goals setting and achievement, careers and future, leadership and possibilities, purpose and fulfilment

6. Believe in them, when you do this it gives them the confidence to confide in you. Have faith in them, empower their can do spirit, trigger their inner motivation and you will see beautiful things happening.

What you stand to gain as Mentors from mentoring

1.  It enhance your career satisfaction. It create room for sharpening of skills and development.

2. It energize your mind and career.

3. It develops technique for networking and socialization.

4. Mentoring works and reminds mentors the importance of active listening. It is a valuable skill

5.  It leads to personal satisfaction. There's nothing like seeing someone blossom right before your eye as a result of what you have impacted/taught.

Warning- You should not give up on them. Take this some will be beyond your help.

Respect the practice of confidentiality. Don't tell lies, take the depressed more serious especially when the suicidal thoughts gives green light. Consider their feeling and be honest with them.

Written by Osundiji Ramon.

Osundiji Ramon is a youth counsellor, blogger, writer and a poet. The founder of DE ORA publications, an initiator of DE ORA Talks. A member of Association of Nigerian Authors, a fellow of Jaw Jaw Africa- a body aimed at raising future public speakers  Email: osundijiramon@gmail.com