What every parent should know

It is amazing, the places and times that you feel the urge to “put pen to paper”. Here I am, on a train to Manchester and I began to chat with my neighbour. We were talking about career choices. As we chatted on, I realised the conversation was becoming like a “ mother –daughter tug of war ”. It got me thinking.

It seems that where the “human capital theory “ is concerned, the average parent sees their wards as “products for sale to the highest bidder “. When a parent says, “ I want my child to study medicine “, what exactly is the reason behind the career choice? Is it really what is “best for the child” or what is best for us? Do we even know what is best for the child? Does the child even know what is best for him?

She told me that she had wanted to study “ textiles and designs” and when she told her parents they were “supportive” but suggested in a very subtle way that she should do something else that will “ get her a job “! No be for Naija o !

I remember the day I was filling my JAMB form. I can still hear my mother’s breathing as she looked over my shoulders to see what I was doing. Can you blame her? I was a very unserious teenager, and at that time I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I just wanted to get into university reading a course that I will enjoy. Now this does not mean an easy course in any way. It just means a course that is suitable for my temperament. It had to be social sciences. I am a very social person by nature.

So, I picked sociology. My mama said, “ what is that?” she had her arms akimbo, hian! I knew I was going to a battle that I could not win.

I tried to explain my options; she wasn’t buying it. She said to me “ put Pharmacy there, your sister is already studying medicine?” HABA! Just like that? I tried one more time, although I knew it was a lost cause. I told her that I am poor in Chemistry (and indeed I was, very poor ! )Her reply? The typical Nigerian response “ Do the people who pass it have two heads?” And that was it.

My fate was sealed … I went on to study pharmacy …it was a horrific journey for me. I probably had to study more than my peers to catch up, remember that I was poor in chemistry … it was not a total loss, though. I am still the consultant for family and friends on medication and contraindications. However, I do not make a farthing from it!

I have been back in school for some time now. Studying Education and leaning towards sociology …now isn’t that amazing! Yes, I am a university student, and so are all my children… You see my Israelites’ journey (although my mother meant well, obviously)?

I believe in purpose. I believe that every being that has come to earth, has a purpose, a destiny. Our primary duty as parents has to be, to help our children find and walk in their purpose, not ours.