Parents' Day: ‘I am missing out on life lessons from my father now that I need them in my 30s’

National Parents' Day aims to support responsible parenting and encourage parents to reward their children's good behaviour. The day also honours parental sacrifices and the unbreakable bond and love between parents and their offspring.

We spoke to Daniel about his father and mother and their impact on his life.

"From four years old to 14 years old, I was raised by only my Mom. My Dad was abroad, he lost his banking job in Nigeria and went to the US, where he had his education, in search of greener pastures.

"His absence from my childhood I easily forgave. I don't think I missed out on anything besides having someone to set a curfew and raise his voice. The usual ‘I will tell your Daddy for you’.

"My mom did a good job raising my siblings and me, but she gave us a lot of freedom. We had privileges other kids didn't have, but we didn't blow up the house or misuse the privileges. We went out often (we told her where we were going, of course) and came home a bit late.

"There was no "Oh, I wish my father came for football games and stuff." We didn't have that like oyinbos. I was so relieved during the PTA meetings or open days when my parents didn't even attend. Graduations and matriculation were not big deals in my household.

"If anything, I enjoyed the freedom of being a child without a stern father. My mom couldn't or wouldn't put the reins on like dad would have.

"Did I miss him? I missed him as a person, but not his fatherly role. I didn't think I was missing anything. If anything, I missed him for my mom. I remember them dancing during Saturday morning cookouts when I was very little. I think she really missed him and it was hard raising children alone.

"He returned home to Nigeria much later on, but my older brother and sister were past bonding with him. My older siblings were at the university then. He had missed such an important aspect of their childhood. I was the only one at home, I was a young adult then. He came back when I was still in secondary school. I still got to spend a little time with him. One of my cherished memories is he taught me how to drive. Then, he died in 2017.

"His absence since his passing hits harder than his absence in my childhood. I want and need advice NOW. I need life lessons and hard truths about being a man in your 30s from my father.

"Now I miss HIM. Your parents are pillars for navigating adult life. They are military-safe stations. Where do you go to decompress, receive unconditional love, get a pat on the back, and get encouragement to go on? Now I am one station short. I cannot tell my Mom everything. Some darkness only men can understand."

Daniel’s story illustrate just how important parents are not just in childhood but adulthood.