Nigerians speak on how they use sex toys

“Being married shouldn’t stop you from using sex toys. You can derive lots of pleasure from sex toys” she further tells Pulse.

In a society where there is still a conservative attitude around sex, Mrs Ajayi belongs to a sexually liberal set of Nigerians.

The Sex toy is a multibillion-dollar industry globally. Even though little numbers exist to measure the growth of the sex toy industry in Nigeria, the fact that more people are selling sex toys shows that there is an increasing demand for them.

Mrs. Eunice Abraham (Not real name) says ‘’I have been using sex toys for years and my husband is aware of it. Although we don't always use it during sex but I can’t deny the fact that each time we use it I enjoy myself.”

According to a sex toy vendor Adunni Ore, in a conversation with Pulse, “It is totally normal to use sex toys. It's intense and it helps you a whole lot. A sex toy is something to help you relax your mood. It also helps you to know more about your partner.”

Ore also says when shy people walk up to her to talk about their sexual fantasies like the use of aphrodisiacs and sex toys she makes sure she gets them to relax and be free with her.

When it comes to talking about sex, society recommends that the subject should remain private. We have very limited sex education in the school systems and sadly, it does not teach us about sex and pleasure. This is also true for sexual experiences and the use of sex toys, largely due to societal influences.

“I urge them and help them to relax. They also ask questions about it’s side effects, some even ask if they won't get addicted to it.”

A study conducted in 2017 by the University of Toronto suggests that 48% of women used a vibrator always or often for solo masturbation and 25% used it always or often with a female partner.

Using sex toys is correlated with several sexual behaviours, including vaginal, oral and anal sex, and health-promoting behaviours such as having a gynecologic exam in the past year or engaging in genital self-examination.

However, people all around you are using sex toys, and they have been using it for a very long time.

The vibrator was marketed for home use in magazines from around 1900. The cordless vibrator was patented on March 28, 1968, and was soon and was soon followed by such improvements as multi-speed and one-piece construction, which made it cheaper to manufacture and easier to clean.

“I really don't think it's a bad thing using sex toys. I honestly think sex toys help build the sexual life of both male and female. I believe sex toys were created to spice up the sexual life of individuals and provide succour for ladies or men and that is why you see the invention of sex dolls. In a nutshell, I think using sex toys is neither abnormal nor sinful,” he said.

Gift, another sex toy user, is of the opinion that sex toys spice things up in your relationship.

“Despite the myth, sex toys are very important in a relationship. Generally the Nigerian society is not very open about "sex" hence the hush hush, but in reality it is a gift and when used properly and lovingly can be very useful in the bedroom. Pleasure tools have been around for ages, are used by many, and are here to stay. It’s totally normal- so enjoy them without shame and stop judging people." Don’t knock it till you try it she says.

Speaking further, Adunni Ore says, “Married women patronize me more, I think they just discovered that pleasure is very important and they've gotten to that stage they now realize that being married is not a fulfillment to their sexual fantasies so now they are open to new ideas and also, men indulge in sex toys because they love to watch their partners use sex toys.”

In her conversation with Pulse, Ore reveals how Nigerians order for sex toys.

“Nigerians order online, via WhatsApp, Instagram and other social media platforms. The sex toys (Vibrator) prices ranges from N20,000 upward.”

But despite the popularity of vibrators and dildos some people still find it immoral using sex toys.

Babajide (not real name) feels it’s cheaper to engage the services of sex workers than buy a sex toy.

“To me, I feel it is cheaper to make use of a normal street girl than buying a sex toy. In Nigeria, most especially, in the highbrow areas where there is a growing number of sex workers in the country. With less than half of the amount for a sex toy, one can get a street girl to make all the melodies for one, some of the things a sex toy cannot do,” Babajide said.

The option of sex workers, is more suited for men than women. Even though men use sex toys, women are believed to be the biggest customers. With Nigerian millennials speaking openly about sex and non-exclusive relationships online, sex toys are here to stay. However, it might take some time before it becomes mainstream.