Here's what you should know about having maintenance sex

Sex is a commitment that you and your partner make to each other, to have sex whether or not you’re feeling super horny, because you’re in a relationship and you love each other.

We all make similar commitments to other aspects of our life. The tricky part is the question of whether you should ever push yourself towards having sex if you’re not in the mood.

We all agree that effective and affirmative consent is a vital part of having sex and that being pushed into it by anyone else is not acceptable. But what if the person doing the pushing is you? An argument for maintenance sex is that the more sex you have, the more sex you tend to want.

However, one thing that couples fail to realize is that the act of sex itself increases your libido so the trick to having more sex is to have more sex. Climaxing releases feel-good chemicals such as serotonin and oxytocin which help to make you feel sexy, so regular orgasms help to naturally increase your sex drive.

There are lots of things you can do to help increase your libido such as taking care of your diet, exercising regularly and making time for romantic date nights.

But there is no harm in setting a regular slot in your week which is intended for intimate time, whether that’s a chat, a cuddle or sex. You could try thinking of it as maintenance time rather than maintenance sex, where you can talk about anything that’s bothering you, and get some skin on skin contact.

Do you need someone to talk to about your sexual lifestyle? Do you have questions about sex? Do you want your sex life to be better? Send your questions to hotpulse@pulse.ng