6 tips from mental health experts to manage anger
So if your blood pressure is constantly rocketing when someone cuts you off in traffic, a child refusing to cooperate with you, you might be setting yourself to be constantly out of control.
Pick from the list below tips on anger management to restore your 'cool' and get your anger under control.
1. Think before you speak
Give yourself space to think over what you want to say. This will save you from saying things you will regret later. Allow others a moment to collect their thoughts too.
The more you practice giving yourself, and others, a moment to think, the better you will soothe yourself and communicate your anger more effectively.
2. Once calm, express your concerns
As soon as your head is clear and you can think clearly, express yourself in an assertive but non-confrontational manner. State your frustrations, needs and concerns, in a clear and direct way without the intention to hurt or control others.
3. Identify solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you angry, put your mind in a solution-finding state to resolve the issue at hand. Do this in a way that affords you your peace and does not harm or intrude on others. Remember, some things are simply out of your control. So adopt a realistic approach towards them, identify what you can change and focus on that.
Anger shows you the problem, but does nothing to fix it. In fact, it only makes whatever situation worse.
Is your partner late for dinner every night? Adjust the time and have meals later in the evening. Or simpky agree to eat on your own some times.
4. Use 'I' statements
Trying to place blame or criticise will only increase tension. Use statements with "I" to communicate what the problem is and how you feel. Don't assume the other person intended to make you upset, be respectful and precise in describing the problem. For example, instead of saying "You never do any housework" say, "I'm upset that you left without offering to help with the dishes."
5. Forgive and forget
If you hold onto anger, it will turn into bitterness, resentment or a sense of injustice that drowns out positive feelings.
Aiming for reconciliation and forgiveness might help you and others learn from a situation and strengthen your connection or relationship.
6. Use humor
Lighten up a bit to diffuse any tension that might come up. It will help you relax your temper and make others more receptive to your feelings. Using sarcasm and such offensive tactics might make things worse when others get hurt.
Employ humor to face what is making you angry, and get perspective on how to handle the situation.
Other tips to use include: practicing relaxation skills, seeking professional help and getting in some exercise.