3 things that reminds us of an average Nigerian

It's no longer strange (at least I don't think it is) that all it takes for some Nigerians to forget that they went to school, is for some Nigerians with religious titles to misyarn. And social media can be somehow; people will re-share, re-tweet and re-post (I think that's the Instagram one).

So, the other day, Pastor Sarah Omakwu (@SarahOmakwu on Twitter) tweeted about how 'a Christian is not married till they get married' in church, with a #SexualPeversion hashtag. I'm not sure which spirit ministered to her and asked her to delete the tweet, but there are some things that struck me:

1. Over-involvement in religion can actually destroy brain cells

This has to be the only reason that the more religious a Nigerian is, the more likely they are to consider “Use your brain” as a string of cuss-words. I'm not sure how many Nigerians are aware that majority of the churches here have NO legal power when it comes to joining people in marriage.

And they don't actually admit it. One way to know is if they insist on seeing a registry certificate before the church ceremony. Oga/madam, you get a registry certificate because you got married. It is not possible to marry the same person more than once, without a divorce in between.

So, when you stand in that church, knowing that you have the registry certificate, you are already married! Don't play with yourself by going to a church alone, because some of them are so sneaky that they don't say.

Some women will allow these charlatans mess them up, only to discover that they are not really married when push comes to shove … like when the man stops attending church and throws them out, and they find that they have no legal recourse to anything.

Then, they will be sending “What do I do?” messages to every blogger in Nigeria and beyond, after they have made “Epp me” entreaties of all the social workers they can find. After making the mouth, they find out that they have actually been living in sin because their so-called marriage is not recognized by the law of the land. Awon Nollywood film happening in real life.

One of the bequests of slavery is fear. Fear of freedom, fear of asking questions. Fear of exhibiting common sense. That is why the Bible says that a 12yo Jesus spent three days, questioning the religious leaders of his day – but a supposedly adult Nigerian who claims to be a follower of the same Jesus, will cower and shake at the whisper of a religious leader. A mere human being. Flesh and blood.

That accursed mentality of “they are higher than I am” is difficult to exorcise. But the average Nigerian has been terrorized into silence and cannot ask questions …

3. Self-hatred is a terrible thing

It is only self-hatred that can make a woman believe that all her family and friends are so evil, that the union she celebrated with a man is invalid till she wears a white gown and is 'blessed' by a specific pastor.

So, when your own father who has proven himself responsible to and for you throughout your life, blesses your marriage, it is not real? When your own mother who raised you, pronounces a blessing on the person you are marrying, that is a placebo?

So when a person with legal authority pronounces you man and wife, they are joking? Shebi, you know your head is not correct? What kind of self-loathing does it take for a man to believe that his lineage and the registry are filled with demons, so only a ceremony in a particular religious building, is valid? What kind of deity is restricted to a religious building; is it trapped? In which church did Joseph and Mary, marry? What about Adam and Eve? Actually, anyone in the Bible? Yeye dey smell …