Why do Lagos hotels, bars and clubs keep rejecting single women?

At 12:28 pm on October 13, she stated, “@FourPointsLagos I am really disappointed. I came to four points to have drinks with some friends/colleagues and I was told that they do not allow single ladies in and I had to call a man to come and get me in.

“@FourPointsLagos I felt ridiculed and embarrassed by your staff and they were letting in all the men right in front of me. All I can say is that this is not the last you’ll be hearing from me.

“@FourPointsLagos you have no right to belittle women. Lord knows how many times I’ve been to Four Points over the years and how much I’ve probably spent there. I am disgusted.”

When Pulse contacted Four Points Lagosthey offered no comment, instead preached how their establishment values diversity and inclusion, with ‘gender bias,’ a ‘non-existent’ part of their fundamentals.

They also said the Nonye had been apologized to. The issue had however established a mainstream pattern and echoes of terrible old memories, locked in the distant subconscious...

Kemi Adetiba

On May 31, 2014, trailblazing Nigerian filmmaker, Kemi Adetibaexperienced similar issues at Spice Restaurant and Lounge. She also expressed her displeasure via her Instagram page, “Apparently, at SPICE restaurant and lounge in VI… Single men can go in but not single women. Are you bleeding kidding me. I am DISGUSTED!!”

She was eventually let it, but the damage had been done, “I was eventually let in. Apparently, I had to be accompanied by a MAN. But they showed MERCY on this poor, single (yet accomplished) ‘girl’ and let me through.

“There were several ‘unaccompanied’ men that walked past me during this ‘conversation’. I should have begged one of them to make me WHOLE and pretend to be my MAN so I can walk through the SPICE gates of heaven.

“I shall NEVER come to this place again and trust… this SINGLE and UNWORTHY ‘girl’ will do everything to make sure no one I know does as well. #SpiceVI” She completed her rant.

On the matter, when a NET employee reached out to Spice for comments, he was told reason was to shelve the problem of prostitutes lying around their establishment, which could disgust their customers, “If men want to bring prostitutes, it’s fine but they don’t want any of them hanging around anyhow.”

There is a mainstream pattern. For regular clubbers, however, it’s no news. So we must address this issue sensitively.

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The problem

On the one part, it is anathema in a world where the fight for gender equality or equity is rife and a necessary reality.

On the other part, it just seems wrong that men wouldn't be questioned before entering a bar, but women still get heavily scrutinized or even rejected. Can a sister just go have some fun by her lonesome? Apparently, not. Some establishments have said no.

Recently, Pulse wrote about the more problematic trend of Lagos landlords blatantly reusing to lease homes to single womenin Lagos.

These women never win.

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Could there be a good reason why these bars do this?

It’s weird, but yeah there could. High-class call girl infestation is a problem for hospitality, food and nightlife operators and sometimes, they infiltrate these organizations.

In some instances, these girls find ways to move their markets and businesses forward by approaching men they think could have money.

This soils the reputation of these establishments, some even lose customers due to harassment of their customers in ways they do not realize until it might too late

As much as prostitutes attract admirers and fulfill needs, they’re also viewed with distinct condescension when their services are not needed.

While male prostitutes or ‘brostitutes’ exist and are increasing by the minute, female prostitution is far more distinct,recognizable and popular or even more rife.

The rate, notoriety, and openness of female prostitution will also be significantly more than that of male prostitution.

Where you will find 10 call girls selling their business, you might not even find one brostitute. While this narrative is a tough sell in our woke world, we cannot deny the persuasive realities.

The major reason why high-class bars that host great parties and dignitaries to engage their debauchery don’t engage single women is because you never know; High-class call girls are even better put together and better looking than your WCW, with great courtesy and manners, they will go under the radar when searches are on.

Like in Kenya, where selling sex to Sugar daddies for financial comfort is now an ingrained culture amongst young women with big dreams, Nigeria has its equivalent, the only problem is that it's not mainstream.

Would you want to risk a call girl in places where high powered personalities party? You can be sure that call girl will do her best to storm the places, however, guarded.

Who nor wan make money?

These are however problems these bars and clubs want to avoid. They don’t want spectacles and negative publicity on customer exploitation or complaints of terrible customer service.

In any business that involves hospitality and catering directly to the vanities, security, and bowels of human beings, scandals on bad service, security threats or exploitation, however little are always bad for business.

Bars, restaurants, hotels or clubs can go from ‘the major thing’ to literally nothing in a few weeks. Something as little as finding eggshells in a meal could spell doom.

That is why they cannot afford they try and control the presence of single women in their clubs.

ALSO READ: Prostitution, the economy of sex in Lagos

But even at that, the rejection of single women is still restrictive.

In some of these clubs, some high-class call girls will enter and not be questioned. As Ntianu puts it, “There’s levels to these things, it depends on who you know.”

No matter how hard you want to sell it, you have to understand why women are clamoring. Liberated and enlightened women who have the means go to clubs themselves want to party all by themselves.

They don’t need men to have a nice time — that’s even if the man can afford their bills, bruh. In some ways, the restriction represents primitive standards that sought to malign women and shove them to the side.

It was also a standard that consistently left women at the mercy of men. Why should a woman ALWAYS GET A MAN BEFORE SHE HAS FUN?

However good the reason for this restrictive rules are and they’re understandable, this problematic backdrop is not going away. Thus, there is a conflict and conversation that hotels, bars and club operators cannot avoid.

As capitalism goes, the first business to find a lasting solution takes the cake.

It’s not even about inclusion as they will make it seem privilege to women. Women have as much right to service as men in bars and clubs.

These clubs have to find a balance.

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What is the solution?

The simple answer seems some form of membership through background checks, but even that isn’t fool-proof - It can, however, go some way.

We first have to understand that however tight a system it, it will always be exploited by people who want to exploit it. Even the most secure programs suffer hacks.

That said, we need to take a step, these problems cannot go on for much longer. We need a solution and fast.

With memberships, however, there’s the problem of elitism, as memberships are expensive. But then, who says a high-class call girl wouldn’t afford membership? Background checks can solve problems.

But then, what structure do we have to document people’s history and give us a definitive pathway to their lives In Nigeria? None. Thus, memberships might do nothing, but they are something.

For now, however, as Ntianu says, “These problems are going nowhere. As long as you have humans and money and people want to sell their bodies for money, these problems are going nowhere.”

I could not but agree, but we still have to find a fast solution, the innocent and genuine ones always bear the brunt. Could it just be the curse of being true? Nobody knows.

While Ntianu offers unwavering truth, we wouldn't be able to hold on to it for much longer.

It is an ongoing struggle. One day, we’d get there.