If you're unwilling to help and contribute to your partner's success at the things they do, you have no business being with them.
Depending on things like love languages and other predilections and penchants, there'll likely be some great relationship things that your partner won't really care much for.
This is why although gifts are generally considered awesome ways of expressing love, some people would rather have you keep your gifts and spend quality time with them. It is also the explanation for why words of affirmation means a lot to some and to others, you can keep everything else away but not physical touches.
With a commitment to supporting your partner though, you can never go wrong, and here are reasons why…
Dreams, aspirations and a desire to make a thing of remarkable beauty out of life is a vital aspect of everyone’s being, including your partner’s.
To do great at everything they try their hands on is a desire woven into the fabric of every soul, a yearning intricately sewn into every fibre of human creation.
So while some things would touch your partner on a deep level and others excite them on just a peripheral level, you can be sure that showing support for their dreams and propelling them towards the achievement of every single one of them is undoubtedly going to mean so much to them. It will cement your place in their lives, hold down your spot in their history forever, even if things somehow, confoundingly fall apart for other irreconcilable differences.
Gifts are great, holidays are marvelous, romantic dinners are good too, but surely none of these beats the fulfilment of a life-long plan or the achievement of a long-held dream. So before entering someone’s life, be prepared to hold their hands through their journey to successes and fulfilment. Be prepared to be part of their growth plans and elevation stories.
Support should always be in words and deeds.
Surely it is greatly comforting to look someone in the eyes at their lowest and tell them that everything’s gonna be OK. You’d be doing really great as a boyfriend if you are available as a shoulder to cry on when your girlfriend suffers debilitating disappointment and feels like things will never work in that business venture she’s always wanted to have.
You would be performing you duty as a real girlfriend if you are the hand that cradles your boyfriend’s head and the lips that whispers soothing words of confidence into his ears when his soul is fatigued and almost giving up on doing so much and seeing only the shadow of projected returns.
Words of validation and encouragement coming from you will do them tons and tons of good. It is good for their mental wellbeing and physical wellbeing.
There is something about people you care most about believing in the things you do and letting you know about it.
However, all these, as admirable and remarkable as they are wouldn’t amount to much if that’s where it stops.
Words backed up by actions carry more weight than words dropped without the power of actions. This is why actions are said to speak louder than words. It is not enough to say “I support you” and “I’m in this journey with you” without actually investing your energy, funds and other efforts into bettering their lives furthering their careers and growing their business ventures.
Learn about what they do, become familiar with it. That’s a sure way to show that you are committed to them and the things that mean most to them.
Relationships and marriages are as multi-faced as diamonds, and like these stones, every facet of your relationship is meant to sparkle, glow to the farthest limit of your abilities.
So while support is a thing your partner would never say no to, it does not take away from your duty to get gifts, pray for them and with them, go on dates, engage in the best sex of their lives and other romantic things that marriages and relationships are built on.
To do all these while still being invested in supporting their careers is not that difficult. All you need do is to ensure that in giving gifts, let it tie in with their job, career or profession. A functional, timely and inexpensive gift is far better than a pricey, ostentatious one. If your girlfriend is a baker, you have no business buying her shoes all the time when there are baking tools that will be far useful, far appreciated.
For dates, why not take her to baking fairs and other places she’ll delight in, instead of taking her to the movies all the time?
Of course, this is not a rule that applies only to men. Men and women alike are meant to be supportive of each other.
If everything you do is imbued into a commitment to be supportive of your partner’s dreams, goals and aspirations at all times, you can expect to be the type of partner that no one wants to leave, the type that would have nothing but a flourishing, hardly-breakable relationship/marriage for life.
McShayn's Love Thread is a weekly column that aims at explaining modern relationship practices, and tries to demystify relationship myths while proffering useful advice for stronger relationships and modern marriages. You can read other articles here.