Is cheating always the fault of the cheater?

When partners find the balance in their relationship upset by cheating, who should get the blame, and on whose head should fault rest?

Picture this - someone steps outside his marriage or relationship to find what he should be getting from no one but his partner, shouldn’t the fault be his in totality?

The cheater bears the responsibility for cheating

Generally, cheaters get the blame for their philandering because, it’d be illogical for the person aggrieved to also have to bear the responsibility for someone else’s actions and indiscretions.

Some cheaters are just insensitive and inconsiderate in their decision to step out of the commitment they have with their significant other.

Generally, cheaters should get the blame for their philandering. [Credit: Black Excellence] What if she has been cheating and you find out [Credit: Black Excellence] Pulse Nigeria

Cheating is not an event, we all know. It’s a series of actions and some people do not bother to consider the impact that their wrong choices would have on their partner and relationship.

And for some of these people, it does not really matter what a partner does or what they don’t. It does not matter that a partner is dedicated to making things work, it does not matter that these partners try their best to make the relationship peaceful, healthy and successful.

They don’t care about stuff like that; they just go all out and do as they please, without a care in the world for the consequences of their actions.

So on the face of it and in this context, it does not make sense to blame anyone but those who stepped out of their commitment zone but then, that’s only on the face of it…

Sometimes, things are not as black and white as we like to view them as. Pondering ScoopnFest

ALSO READ: If a friend cheats on their partner, should you tell or mind your business?

Joint responsibility for cheating

When you dig a little deeper into cheating scenarios and what drove some happy men and women into cheating it becomes difficult to place all the blame solely at these people's feet.

Cheating does not always happen in a vacuum. So in some cases, people cheated would need to wake up and smell the coffee - all the blame is not always for the cheater.

People like to generalize every situation under the theoretic rule that the cheater is always at fault. However, in reality, it is not always as cut and dried as that and sometimes, there are gray areas. While the cheater surely gets blame, the person cheated on could also be at fault in some way.

Wife caught cheating [Credit: Tops Images] Wife caught cheating [Credit: Tops Images] Pulse Nigeria

A little introspection might show the cheated that they consciously or unconsciously left gaps in the relationship – gaps of communication, affection and other bonding activities – and it is through these unguarded spaces that their partners fell into the heavy waves of temptation that would later overwhelm them and become their undoing.

We already listed things that make people cheat here, and while this is not to validate cheating, it only just shows that everyone in a relationship may need to take a little more responsibility for it. To ensure that they do their best to stay true to their partners, and also to ensure that they make it reasonably easy for their partner to do same. You’re in it together, afterall.

Your actions and inactions could make it a little easier or very difficult for your partner to fall into a temptation he or she has been struggling with outside their commitment zone.