Let no one make any mistake about it - sex is one of the littest part of relationships.
Some guys would even argue that it is indeed the littest.
So it is perfectly OK, ladies, even highly advisable to actively seek to be better at sex, to learn tricks and deftness of touch and other things that will always make your man turn to jelly every time your hand - or any other part - meets his body.
As ideal as that is, though, it would be unwise to think that that is all you need to focus on in a relationship.
One would expect that this is pretty much obvious but then, a number of women genuinely think in their heart of hearts, that owning a vagina and knowing how to really work it is all that’s needed to maintain a healthy relationship and to keep a man happy and permanently interested in being with them.
As actress, Juliet Ibrahim rightly says in a recent post on her Instagram, "remove sex and a lot of people have nothing to offer in a relationship."
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Sometime in September 2017, there was a clip which went round on social media, trimmed off BKChat NYC’s Youtube channel. That short clip kinda lends credence to the view in the paragraph above.
In it, of the ladies on the show says with a straight face and what looked like serious conviction that;
“I don’t do sh*t for my Nigga… I got p****.
"I don’t do anything for my boyfriend, he [does] everything for me.
"If [your vagina] is this magical, you don’t have to do nothing else.”
Let’s not even dwell on the blatant ridiculousness of such thought and the apparent ignorance of the mind from whence it came.
Here’s the thing ladies, being in a relationship, or intending to go into one with this idea simply shows that all you've got to give, or the only thing men get for being in a relationship with you is sexual gratification.
And more worryingly, it also limits you to just an ever-available piece of flesh, a [pretty-faced] pleasuring machine and nothing but a safe-keep for your boyfriend/husband’s orgasms.
And that's even if your thing is actually magical.
Of course, as earlier said, every man loves to have a woman who blows his mind in the sheets, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed too, everything in relationships/marriages don’t happen with partners' arms and legs always tangled in bed.
There are many other parts of relationships you need to function in, and men need you to be amazing at these other things, just as you are at ‘throwing that ass back.’
Your partner wants to have a real partner in you, he wants your loyalty and commitment.
He wants to share his experiences and have intellectual conversations with you.
Be the woman that challenges him to do great stuff and inspire him to be the best.
He also wants a woman that gives him a reason to wake up and smile every day, and you can’t achieve all of this with your vagina alone.
Moreover, there’s hardly a woman alive who doesn’t want a man to be there for her, to buy her the best gifts and do all other affectionate things that romantic dreams are made of.
Ladies, it’ll be inconsiderate and self-serving [at least] to want all this and more but to have nothing else to offer than your vajayjay.
As earlier said, men appreciate bomb head, good sex and all that sexy good stuff, but as you learn to throw it back and work that D, please learn about other things that actually make relationships and marriages work, too.
Your vagina, no matter how magical, isn't and never will be enough.