Although it may be good that churches teach young people to remain celibate until they are wed, it may lead to sexual problems when they are older, even within their marriages, according to Sarah Diefendorf, researcher at the University of Washington.
Men Who Are Virgins May Have Difficulty Expressing Themselves In Marriage
Because these men understand sex as a gift for the marriage bed, it is unthinkable to discuss intimate activity anywhere outside of their marriage relationships
In her paper, presented at the American Sociological Association’s convention in San Francisco this week, the doctoral student in sociology writes that “virginity pledges” among teenagers can be a good thing, if these teenagers are also educated about intimacy.
Diefendorf believes that young men who choose to remain celibate until they are wed may face serious problems when they finally get hitched, because they find themselves unable to talk to their wives about sexual matters. She adds that without the support of a group of like minded people, they end up being frustrated with their desires, because they feel uncomfortable speaking to anyone about them.
Because these men understand sex as a gift for the marriage bed, it is unthinkable to discuss intimate activity anywhere outside of their marriage relationships,” wrote Diefendorf. She continues, “Positive conversations around intimacy do not occur — and these men assume that conversations regarding sexual practices would only occur in what they think of as promiscuous, risqué scenarios, such as a swinger party.”
Most young men who have made these “virginity pledges” believe that premarital relations are beastly temptations which have to be controlled and this includes viewing pornography, according to Diefendorf. She adds, however, that these feelings do not disappear when they are married, because they are awkward with their spouse with regards to talking about the intimate desires and this can lead to further temptation.
Clayton King, an evangelist from South Carolina, is not surprised by these new revelations from Diefendorf, but he thinks he has come up with an answer to the problem.
Source: All Christian News
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