Hi Bukky,

My name is Peter, I just discovered that the the girl I trust and love so much has been cheating on me.  It's been  4 years now since we've been dating. She is 23 and I'm 30. We plan to get married after she's done with her NYSC .

I'm a sailor and my kind of work takes me away from home for as long as two months. I try my best to provide everything she wants and also contribute to her education. Though we don't reside in the same state, our parents know each other well.

My girlfriend and my younger sister are very close, they live with each other in the meantime because my sister is currently doing her industrial attachment around the area my girlfriend resides in.

I got to know my girlfriend was cheating through my little sister after forcing her to talk because I started to become suspicious of her. She told me the girl I love is in love with another guy who has even taken her to see his mum. My sister also said my girlfriend rarely sleeps at home and the guy sleeps over sometimes at her place.

To confirm my sister's story, I confronted my girlfriend. She lied at first but when she realised I was serious, she confirmed it. She has been begging for forgiveness and asking mutual friends to plead on her behalf. She says she still loves and can't live without me.

I still love her but the problem is I no longer trust her and my line of job doesn't need such a woman as a wife. But most of my friends say I should give her s a second chance.

Please Bukky, should I let her go or give her another chance? I'm confused on what to do.

Thanks,

Peter.

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Hello Peter,

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain which means both people have to work hard in making this kind of relationship very successful. Communication is key here. How do you communicate when you are far away from each other?

It's not just about giving her all she wants physically, sometimes love isn't just enough. how emotionally connected are you to her? Do you really understand each other like you ought to?  Were you giving her all the attention she needed?

Broken trust is hard to replace, but you should ask yourself if you love enough to take her back. If you are willing to accept her, you both should have a lengthy discussion on what caused her to cheat, the way forward in your relationship and ways to make your relationship better.

Try not to ask for details of how she cheated  while having this discussion, knowing won't solve a thing, it'll only make things worse for you in your emotional state.

If you decide to move on without her, inform her of your decision and be honest about your reasons.

All the best.

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