How to handle a breakup properly and avoid calling or texting your ex

Do not embarrass or set yourself up for more hurt by calling or texting your former boyfriend or girlfriend to beg or try to convince them that the relationship would work. 

Coming out of the throes of a relationship you thought would end in marriage can be difficult. 

A real breakup, not the little breaks after a fight, or silent treatment is hard to deal with. You were told explicitly that it was over and, they do not want to be with you anymore.

Accepting that the relationship did not work out can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if you were not the one who ended things. 

When the breakup is fresh, you might find the urge to call or text them uncontrollable. 

You might find yourself wondering how they are doing or what they are doing at that moment. They were a part of your life. You shared your life, time, emotions, and body with them. It is normal to feel this way.,

Calling or texting to tell them you love them would not work. They thought of it properly and decided to break up with you. 

To avoid calling your ex, you can do the following;

Say how hurt and disappointed you are to their faces or over the phone.

Tell them what you did not enjoy about the relationship with them. Say everything.

 Maybe it comes to you when they are breaking up with you or a day or two after the breakup. If the feelings and thoughts come after, send a text that conveys how you feel. 

You are not trying to convince them to stay with you, but purging yourself so that two weeks after, you won’t reach out to them to say something you forgot.

Cry if you must. It happened and, it hurts. Do not avoid your feelings. Do not drown your feelings in alcohol. Mourn the loss of the relationship.

Intentionally choosing to grieve means you can put and embrace support structures that will keep you in check. 

Bottling things up and "moving on" may mean having to unexpectedly face those unprocessed emotions sometime in the future and, this can lead to reaching out to the person in the heat of the moment.

Whenever you have the urge to talk to them, be accountable to someone. Call up a friend and tell them how you feel. 

Telling a friend “I miss Xyz” can be as relieving as telling the person yourself. Plus, your friend can make you see how it is a bad idea to reach out to the person.

No one is saying you should block them, but you need your space to heal. You do not want to constantly see their updates or pictures on your timeline.' It will rekindle feelings of hurt, anger or longing.

It isn’t a dream.

The relationship didn’t work out and, sometimes there are valid reasons, other times there aren’t any. It just ended unexpectedly.

They are not with you anymore and, that is the reality. Accept it. Kill the hope. Do not look for closure or any explanation.

So, the relationship is over but, these days, where everything is online, you need to take some precaution.

Depending on what privacy means to you, if you shared important and confidential information like passwords or housekeys, you should change your passwords, collect your house keys, and keep them logged out of all your social media accounts.

Also, tell your family members, co-workers and friends, that you are no longer dating them, so they do not do anything in your name.

Do not write a long message about the relationship on any social media platform. The internet never forgets and it can come back to haunt you.

Secondly, on social media, everyone has their perspective and would most likely see things from an exaggerated perfection. You will be scrutinized and judged. So don’t go online for some relief. You won’t get it. Call a friend and rant.

Finally, make sure they do not have any compromising pictures of you on their phones and don't forget that time heals all wounds. Give yourself time.