McShayn's Love Thread The true effects of pornography on relationships

Is it always as bad as they say it is?

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Pornography and its consumption is as real and commonplace in Nigeria as the sun shining bright and hot as these words are being threaded together.

There's no point still trying to live in denial. We can all cut the crap now.

According to Google stats, in 2014, the popularity of Nigerian searches for pornography, as compared to other searches, on a scale of 0 to 100 was above 80.

In December 2016, Pornhub, the site with possibly the vastest collection of xxx videos, released their annual statistics and it showed that Nigeria leads in Africa for consumption of pornography on mobile.

Hey, even our own dedicated sex page, Hot Pulse gets a whole lot of views daily than almost all other categories.

These are just statements of facts, not a judgement of adults' sexual behaviours and preferences. Nope.

play An advantage is that partners get to talk more about their needs (Daily motion)

It only proves that all types of people from different age grades and walks of life love to view adult content.

Single men and women have no problem with it. People in relationships watch, and married people also indulge.

While single people could have some sort of 'free pass', things are a little more complicated for those in relationships and marriages.

There are only few people who have no qualms with their partner viewing pornograhic content, many are flat out against the idea.

And this is not without reason. According to Psychology Today, porn also has a way of making people objectify their partners, it creates unrealistic expectations and ideas and most worryingly, it could become an addiction.

Everyone who has watched at least 10 minutes of a porn flick knows how exaggerated the actions are. From the loud moans, well sculpted physiques of the actors, to the time each round of sex takes.

Getting too stuck up in that world surely has an effect one's relationship if you are hoping to replicate those things in your sex life with your partner.

And even though it is usually said that not every addiction is a bad thing, surely that can't be in reference to pornography, especially when you have a partner to whom you owe your loyalty.

ALSO READ: Why do guys still masturbate when they have girlfriends?

Viewing sexually-explicit content while in a relationship is placed by many people in the same category as literally sleeping with other people, and so it is hard to imagine this addiction ending anywhere else than in an amicable breakup at best.

In worse circumstances, you could be called out on social media as a fuckboy on top of losing your partner in an ugly, embarrassing breakup.

play Some couples don't mind doing this together (Entitiymag)

It is obvious that public opinion is against porn and its consumption especially by people in relationships, but there is evidence that it still has an exalted place in some relationships, and some married partners enjoy pornographic materials separately, and even together regardless of the apparent disadvantages.

We may never truly understand why, but one logical explanation for this is the inherent differences in human behaviour. One man's meat is another's poison... and as they say, different strokes for different folks.

In an article published on Women's Health Magazine [Online] in 2014, it is said that viewing porn as a couple could be advantageous as it could lead to a better sexual experience between partners, it could inspire you to be more vocal in bed about your needs, and it could also help you discover your partner's sexual fantasies among other advantages.

ALSO READ: 5 reasons to kiss more in your relationship

Huffington Post has a similar 2013 article, explaining how viewing porn as a couple could help partners' sexual lives, and by extension, their relationship/marriages as a whole.

play Your relationship is yours and your actions in it are yours (Redbook)

If partners enjoy watching porn together, or if their sex improves directly as a result of this, would the effect of porn on that relationship be seen as negative?

In the end, the truth remains that everyone has the right to own their narrative, to shape and mould their relationships the way they deem fit.

And even in the larger picture, it has been rightly said that it is best to live your life on your own terms and to do what is best for you.

So, depending on who you are and the specifics of your relationship, the effects of pornography on your relationship could either be good or bad.

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