“I’m tired of my marriage, I don’t have a child and my husband keeps ignoring me”

oge okonkwo

April 18, 2016 5:12 PM

I decided to live as if he doesn't exist and this has really destroyed the affection we once shared

Hello Bukky,

I’ve lost intimacy in my marriage. My husband keeps coming home late; sometimes he stays out till day break. I was initially getting disturbed but it always lead to quarrel. I don't have a child yet and sometimes we can stay for three months without having sex.

I decided to live as if he doesn't exist and this has really destroyed the affection we once shared. I have called him severally but it's not working out as he picks offence at every of my word.

I’m tired and planning to leave him because I’m getting older and I don't have a child yet.

What do I do?

Deborah.

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Hi Deborah,

Thanks for sharing this delicate issue with me.

Emotional and physical intimacy in marriage is bond that binds couples together and without it, marriage becomes unreal.

Great communication brings you closer than ever. In your present state, communication isn’t just about ‘wanting to talk’, it can turn into a shouting match in a minute if whatever is being said between you and your spouse isn’t relayed properly.

Remember that two wrongs never make a right; your marriage is a young one and having a ‘tired’ mindset would break your relationship faster than anything else. If you pack up and leave now, do you think you’ll happy outside your marriage?

Letting go easily shouldn’t be the route to take despite your husband’s attitude. You should learn to fight for what you should believe in which means working at getting back that intimacy that’s dying in your marriage. Rather than acting like he doesn’t exist, show him you are making an effort to make your relationship better, he’ll definitely notice then you can now have that heart-to-heart discussion.

Children are blessings to marriage, but using them as a determinant for your happiness and intimacy with your husband isn’t right. You may argue that age isn’t on your side, but I’ll tell you having kids can’t save your marriage if you are already tired.

I’ll advice you think your decision through and seek the help of a marriage counselor for yourself. You should first work on making you better before bringing in your husband for a talk.

I wish you all the best.

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Yours truly!

oge okonkwo