McShayn's Love Thread If he's just almost good, he's not good enough

Men are either bring positive energy or negative vibes; there can be no middle ground in treating women right.

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He's Mr. Perfect...almost play

He's Mr. Perfect...almost

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The good guy's traits are obvious enough -  he’s affectionate, apologises  sincerely for his mistakes, tries to do right by his woman and genuinely puts in serious effort into holding her down.

The bad guys aka f**kboys are toxic, they come with negative energy and are basically the complete antithesis of the good guys. They don’t even try to act different from what they are.

They hold the badge of being scum to their chest. They hold up their hands when an roll call of a**holes is performed.

There are good guys and bad guys. That much we all knew... until recently.

Apparently there is a hidden level between the good guy and bad guy stage where the 'not-so-good' guys are concealed, all wrapped up in good intentions.

play Jay Ellis plays Lawrence in Insecure, a character battling with commitment issues after being cheated on by his ex (Essence)


If you have been paying attention to Issa Rae’s contemporary and super-relatable series “Insecure,” you probably must have seen the moment when that level was unlocked… that moment when the truth was unfurled [Bless your sweet heart, Issa Rae.]

ALSO READ: How to stop insecurities from killing your relationship

Lawrence [Jay Ellis], who has recently broken up with his girlfriend is still not quite ready to commit to anyone, having been burnt by his ex, Issa [Issa Rae].

He gets involved with Natasha [Dominique Perry] who obviously wants to go all out with him but keeps getting knocked back every time she tries.

However, this does not stop him from spending long weekend staycations in her apartment, having sex and doing other romantic stuff with her such as binge-watching her favourite series.

He also feels the need to come open about  ‘mistakenly’ going back to have sex with his ex.

play Jay Ellis and Dominique Perry as Tasha and Lawrence in Insecure (Buzzfeed)

Note that the confession and plea for forgiveness was unasked for. He probably gives it just so he could 'clear his conscience.'

Tasha being the love-starved, doe-eyed, hopeless romantic forgives him, hoping that something great could still happen with him.

Speaking about her role, Dominique tells Vibe that Tasha “just sees good in Lawrence and she just wants to instill… some self-esteem and… confidence to let him know, ‘This is just a phase you’re going through… and I would love to walk that walk with you, if you’ll have me.’”

She had enough of him when he ‘abandoned’ her at her family party after spending just few minutes and ghosting afterwards.

And during her rant, she says to him: “you’re a f*ck n*gga who thinks he’s a good dude” and that statement clanged ever so loudly and strongly struck a cord of 'relatableness' with many of us.

play Not-so-good guys called out (Twitter / Corey Townsend)


There are actually guys who are basically f*ckboys with just a enough of goodness in them to deceive them [and their victims] into thinking they are good dudes.

These guys, let’s call them the ‘not-so-good guys’, have an idea of what it takes to treat a woman right and like Lawrence, put up an appearance of actually trying to live up to that expectation.

But indeed, they’re really just selfish and only sensitive when they want to get something or when something favours them.

ALSO READ: Why you should stop stressing about being single

The not-so-good guy doesn’t have the looks of f*ckboys or their mannerisms. He usually looks tame and nice.

Somehow, he finds a way to guilelessly make you believe that he wants nothing serious but keeps doing romantic stuff that gets you second guessing his intention.

play The statement hit a nerve with so many people (Corey Townsend)


And when you try to meet him halfway, he pulls away and hits you again with that stupid “I’m not ready for anything serious” line, leaving you in a continuous, mind-twisting loop of uncertainty on one day, only to appear with sunny, otherworldly bliss and seeming clarity the next day.

Obviously, any guy that won't leave a woman alone but repeatedly refuses to treat her right by defining what's up... he's falls squarely into this category, regardless of his ‘good’ intentions.

Innocent looks and those little, inconsequential little things he puts into being just slightly better than the recognizable f*ckboys don’t really count in the grand scheme of things.

There are just two ways to being with a woman – it’s either you are good to her or you’re not.

And about guys, there remains only two types - you are either a f*ckboy or a good dude.

This article might have created a theoretic middle ground but in reality, it is clear that there isn’t.

So as you learn to spot the bad guys, learn to spot these not-so-good guys, too; and avoid them just as you totally avoid f*ckboys, because in the end, they are just the same.

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