Suicide: the easy way out?

The Other Side of Life

One is not ignorant of the fact that there is something called depression: an elongated phase of low moral; it could last for weeks or more, that could lead to inflicted bodily harm or suicide. Neither is one deaf to the yearnings of the soul to do the unthinkable. One thing is for sure: one has the right to make choices when there are zillions of options to choose from, but the most obscene of them all is suicide.

It is a pity that such humans with less a feeling for those they left behind, leave their loved ones in a state of misery. But one thing is sure: life continues right from the minute the priest gives the grave diggers the last command: to cover a six feet. For some more realistic individuals, life continues right the minute they shed few drops of tears, club, and throw down some few bottles of whisky or just have a nice lady by the side.

Nigerian society is yet to come to terms with these words, ‘dead and buried’. So also it is with humans who feel that they committed an unforgivable crime or sin, who feel depressed or heartbroken; many take their lives, without the knowledge that life continues the minute their death is announced.

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We have refused to learn the fact that depression is part of life, one way or the other: the rich also cry; there comes a time when one feels downcast, in a mood of sober reflection or just extremely unhappy. No amount of depression or negative energy should cost a life on earth, but humans of today have learned to do nothing but try as much as possible to buy empathy and sympathy for no good reason.

There is no human on earth without a problem, and the sooner one learns to come to terms with life lessons and reality, the better for empathy or sympathy seekers.

It is very important to know that, family, society, and self have a major role to play or are important factors that contribute to suicide in Nigeria.

Family

Every child comes from a family: nuclear, extended, orphanage, adopted, and so many more. These families build what is called a system or a unit which makes up the society.  The first contact of any human is the family. The right orientation pushes a child towards their actions and inactions when it comes to decision making.

Most parents have failed to train their children towards having a mind of their own or being independent, self-sufficient, and feel secure. These groups of parents have retarded their child’s manner of perception about life.

Some parents mount so much pressure on their kids that, they grow up feeling something that is not too far from being inferior, they have problem of insecurity, they can’t defend themselves, they don’t have a mind of their own, they can’t own up to their mistakes, and in most cases, they see suicide as the only option to solve their problems, because they were not brought up to express themselves as freely as they could –these children bottle-up whatever feelings or emotions they have, pile their experiences up, and one day, when it gets too much to bear, they take to the road.

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The right upbringing goes a long way in a child’s life, and the lives of those he or she has around. The right influence on a child could do nothing but bring out the very best in that child. It is right for parents to teach their kids that there are so many sides to life: the good, the bad, and the ugly, but there are numerous means to solve a problem, which suicide must never be an option.

Parents ought to teach their kids that time heals a lot through patience and perseverance. A child must learn to be contended with the little he has, and must not long for what he doesn’t have, but on the other hand, could work very hard to obtain. Mistakes are made, but one thing is facing the dance after which the dust would settle, after time washes all like the tides of the ocean.

One thing is sure; most parents have failed to teach their children effective communication. Africa is gradually turning into one place that people would rather be islands than socialize. A child ought to realize his or her abilities, and work towards effective result. Parents must not put pressure or mount too many expectations on their children.

So many children or adults who took the wrong turn in life are as a result of the un-exemplary life lived by their parents. Most parents have made their children believe that the only way out in life is financial stability. Not forgetting the fact that there are many who have chosen the wrong path on their own accord.

Society

Another name for Nigerian society is ‘the hyped-space’. Everything is not what the eyes see. The society is driven by the wind of, ‘I wanna make it now or never,’ and things around are so fake, but so many people are not aware of all these. People live their lives in order to either feel accepted in a particular social group or rank as one of the top members of whatever industry they represent. The search for inner peace is of no use in Nigerian society, because people do things without conscience.

Nigerian society plays a major role in mounting pressure on people.  that most people live for the grand. So many people live above their income; they try as much as possible to portray what they are not. When it comes to finance, people have come to live a life of misplaced priorities. As a result of the hunger to live above one’s income or status, one is driven to get themselves involved in all manner of atrocities.

In most cases, it becomes difficult to exist in a society that place certain expectations on people, and as a result, most people struggle to meet these expectations at all cost, resulting to severe consequences. It is very important to note that whatever is planted in a child from the home that is exactly what that child would plant in a society --homes make up the society.

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Self

There is attitude of self-centredness which rules the mind of all men on earth. He is only gifted with the will-power to differentiate between good and bad. Most people do things without literally owning up to their mistakes or try as much as possible to face the consequences of their actions or inactions. There is the absence of self examination these days.

People are driven to do things, not because they have given it a good thought, it is a good avenue to announce themselves to those that care to know. There is this life lived by man these days that at some point, when the self feels unsatisfied or the life they tried so much to build, maintain or keep as secret, is about to crumble, they don’t think twice but commit suicide. People have paid so much or spent so much to live a life that doesn’t pay them in the future, but they never thought twice when it all started.

Conclusion

There is no doubt that there is the existence of bipolar syndrome, but today, people drive themselves into committing suicide as a result of reasons far from any form of disorder. Suicide, obviously for no good reason, has become an easy way out to end a life of selfish misery in Nigeria.

Written by Oluoma Udemezue.