As much as it is important that compliment should be genuine and sincere, it is much more exigent that the response or feedback should be encouraging, welcoming and neighborly
She had her seat right beside mine, and at the first opportunity I passed my sincere compliments. I told her how beautifully dressed she was, how charming and magnetic her smile was. But instead to graciously accept and appreciate the compliments, Sandra gave me an unwelcoming look. Her countenance changed; she gave me this “you guys are at it again” kind of look. I felt terribly bad. Sadly, like most of us, Sandra also did not know or has not learnt how to receive a compliment.
Compliment is an expression of praise, congratulations, encouragement or respect. It is usually given or said when one party is sincerely pleased and appreciates something or efforts on the path of the other party or person. It is an earnest declaration of admiration, usually polite, and often said with pleasant and gratifying words.
To give a compliment is one thing; to receive it rightly is another thing. Interestingly, giving and receiving compliment are two sides of same coin. As much as it is important that compliment should be genuine and sincere, it is much more exigent that the response or feedback should be encouraging, welcoming and neighborly.
Failure to respond rightly to compliment often leaves the giver unhappy, and might even make them regret ever given it in the place, hence it can breed resentment. When compliment is authentically given, it is expected that it must be graciously received.
When you get a compliment, you should not engage in compliment battle. Compliment battle is when you try to downplay your work, worth or personality. Situations where you feel you don't deserve the compliment and try explaining to the giver why you think it is not really necessary. For instance, saying, “l don't actually think the colours match well; I only managed to wear what I have" when someone compliments your dressing.
Never deny or trivialize a compliment. This is unceasingly, and without exception like a slap in the face of the giver. It makes them feel awkward. For example, “your room is really nice" response; oh, this dirty and noisome room?, It hasn't been swept in days".
When you fail to receive compliment appropriately, the giver may feel insulted. Consider this instance, “this garden is the best I have seen" response; “that implies you have not really traveled far". In the above scenario, the response is a direct insult to the giver.
In like manner, nonverbal responses or behaviors are more likely to be misinterpreted than verbal responses. Your gesture, position, facial demeanor, etc really matter when you are responding to compliments. Nonverbal expressions and body languages convey much more than we think they do. Be mindful of that when next you are been complimented.
Correspondingly, if you are getting the compliment in form of an award, it is important to note that you are to receive the plaque with your left hand, this will enable you have the right hand for handshake.
On a final note, if you make giving a compliment a chore, people will stop giving them. People feel good giving compliments and if you do not receive it well, you might be hurting them, thereby reducing your chances of getting one next time .
Just say thank you. So when next you are given a compliment, kindly and graciously receive it well. Smile sincerely at the person. Do not be like Sandra, just say thank you, and make sure you mean it.
Written by Damilola Paul Owoymi.
Young, smart and quite unassuming; D.P.O is a Tourism and Recreation Planner. He can be reached at email@example.com