Relationship Talk With Bukky: What do you do when a girl keeps giving you mixed signals?

Dear Bukky,

I have a girl and we have been dating far back since my second year in Uni, now we have graduated and few months after graduation she sent me a breakup message telling me to move on.

I stopped talking to her but she wouldn’t stop reaching out to me. Now I’m serving and working at the same time and she redeployed to my state of service. She’s now in the same local government as me and we get to see each other on every CDS day. Anytime I see her, I feel something again and I had to act on the feeling.

I asked for us to come back together but she confidently told me that she’s still not ready for a relationship yet and that she’s also scared of committing again coz of what we both experienced while in school.

It’s really frustrating because she says she does not want any relationship with me but just won’t stop calling me, chatting me up and even getting mad at me if I do not check up on her. How do I get out of this, please?______________

Dear reader,

I think there can be no mincing words here. You need to define your relationship with that babe and move on if she keeps playing this game with you.

It’s fine if she does not want to be in a relationship with you anymore. But it’s not fine for her to keep asking for relationship favours when she has clearly said she no longer wants to be close to you like that.

You need to sit her down and spell it to her in the firmest way possible, that she can’t have both. It’s either she’s with you or she’s not. Let her know what you prefer. Also let her know that she still has the choice to do what she likes. If she does not want to be with you, that’s fine. But let her know that she needs to bear the responsibility of her actions.

No relationship means less access to you and your time. She can’t choose something and now cry foul when she gets the energy that comes with that choice. You need to let her understand this.

I strongly advice that you have this conversation with her and also be ready to move on with your life if she chooses for things to remain unromantic as they are now.______________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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