Relationship Talk With Bukky: He makes me unhappy but I'm scared to leave for my son's sake

Dear Bukky,

My fiance constantly cheats on me. Whenever I touch his phone I stumble on the messages from his harem of girls. He's always after different girls on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat,  Instagram  etc.

I even recently discovered he's on several dating sites such as Instamessage where he gets to hook up with countless number of girls.( he isn't aware i know). I wish I could just walk away and not look back but  the devastating part of the issue is we have a 1 year old son.

The date of our wedding is about to be fixed but deep down I'm not happy.  I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with a cheating husband who clearly doesn't love me (he won't be cheating constantly if he did right?) but I also worry about my son.

I do not want to deprive him the joy of having his parents together for my own selfishness. There are also my family's expectations and the shame of being a single mother in this part of the world. Please what do you advise I do?___________

Dear reader,

You are unhappy and the marriage you are about to go into does not even excite you a tiny bit. I think that’s all you need to take a step back. He cheats on you and you would rather not live the rest of your life dealing with an unfaithful partner. These are the most important things to bother about!

Your parents expectations? Please discard that! Society’s expectations? Please discard that as well! All that counts is your happiness and your conviction that you are doing the right thing. You should not steer your life to an unhappy place just to please the public or your folks!

Talk about it with him and demand change! You cannot marry someone like this when you obviously know what he does. You would be intentionally robbing yourself of much needed happiness. Also you are not being selfish by leaving such a bad partner. Your son will not even grow well in such hostility and unhappy setting if you continue living like this. A happy mum raises a happy child. Read this insightful piece here to see why you should not stay in a bad relationship just for your kids.

Lastly, while I think you should discontinue your relationship with this man, I also think you should know that he’s not cheating on you because he does not love you. People love their partners with all their hearts and still find themselves cheating on those people. It has nothing  to do with love. It’s self control, discipline and more.____________

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