My girlfriend couldn't swear that she hasn't been cheating on me

Dear Bukky,

There is a girl I have been dating for three years. I live in UK and she lives in Nigeria. Recently I had suspected she has been cheating and since we are both Muslims I asked her to hold the Quran and swear [that] she has never cheated.

She said she can never do such that I can find another person to marry if I don't trust her. I feel if she has nothing she is hiding, why can't she do it?

Please advise me._____________

Dear reader,

I think your girlfriend already told you what to do. You either stick or twist and by offering you the option to walk away, I think your girlfriend seems pretty confident in her innocence.

Now this is not to say she is innocent or something; but since you have no way to prove her guilt, I think it’d be unwise to break the relationship on a mere suspicion.

But then again, if you can’t trust her enough to shake the doubts, maybe you really need to leave her. Like she rightly said, no point marrying someone you can’t trust.

If that woman’s ways always arouses a suspicion that cannot be quelled, the relationship is bound to hit the rocks sooner or later, so it might be just sensible to end it now.

Nevertheless, the problem may necessarily not be hers. It could be you who has trust issues.________________________________

Dear Bukky,

How do I go about far distance relationship? And is long distance a barrier?

___________

Long distanceis ideally not a problem except you are the type who cannot deal with absence in a relationship.

If you know yourself well enough and get a partner who understands the workings of a long-distance relationship, you both will be fine.

You will need to communicate every day and in diverse ways to keep things interesting; if it’s a sexual relationship, the sex may not come frequently; you will need to be very trusting; a lot of travels will be done as frequently as is reasonable, etc.

So, yeah, it will take a lot of understanding from both of you but it is doable. A long-distance relationship is absolutely doable.______________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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