Pulse TGIF: Improve Your Girl’s Weekend By…

Jonathan 15:21 - 16 October 2013

Oh shit! Not again. Hullo TGIFers, last week I took time out to give the ladies an education on how to make a guy’s weekend a cross between paradise and sweet Babylon. And seeing your response, especially that of the sweet ladies, which fell short of calling me the Antichrist, I have decided to play fair and give the guys this time, a run for their money and their Romeo skills. Say thank you.

The weekend is here again, and the girlfriend sure will have to spend some quality time with you. You’ve spent your entire week trying to stave off hunger by combing monkeys, or kissing asses or worse still, handling eye-dropping sums of cash that never will be yours. Maybe someday they will be yours. But that’s done, and your lady is here, so you have to please her. Good news is she’s easy to please. Bad news is, she’s easy to please when you do the following:

1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous (not fine, or sexy).

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if it’s just for a second.

3. Kiss her on the forehead/neck.

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

7. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with…and never hang with any other girl during weekends.

8. Write her notes, even with your handwriting that reminds that’s a crime in itself, not just BBM and text messages. (she loves them)

9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10. Play with her hair...and sniff it.

11. Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

12. Sit in the park or fast food joints and just talk to her.

13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her silly jokes, or just tell her jokes.

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16. Give her piggyback rides.

17. Bring her flowers…and recharge cards.

18. Treat her same around your friends as you do when you’re alone.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile.

20. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

21. Kiss her in the rain.

22. If you’re in love with her . . . tell her. If you’re not in love, lie then.

23. Play a song for her most likely on a guitar…or on your phone.

After all of that, if you still have any more time left on your hands during your weekends, then and only then can you sneak out, run away to that beer parlour and down some refreshing goodness to recharge your overworked batteries. After that, go back to being a love machine or a love robot (Lobot). You brought this upon yourself, so deal with it.

Good luck man!