What every Muslim should know before getting married

Marriage is considered very important in Islam and Allah has created men and women as companionship for each other. The aim of marriage in Islam is not just to procreate but to also live n peace and tranquility while being each other's company. The Holy Quran says;

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]

"And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72]

This proves that one difference between Islam and other religions is that celibacy or monasticism is not an Islamic virtue.

Islam considers marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam." He further ordained,

"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari]

Conditions of marriage in Islam

Marriage is compulsory for a man who;

- has the means to easily pay the Mahr (dowry)

- can support his wife/children

- is healthy

- fears that if he does not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication

It is also compulsory for a woman who;

- has no other means of maintaining herself

- who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication

Marriage is forbidden for a man who;

- has no means to maintain his wife and children

- has an illness serious enough to affect his wife and progeny

According to the teachings of Islam, a man should see his potential bride before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may fully describe the type of girl she is.

Since believing men and women are referred to in the Quran, a woman also has the right to look at her potential husband.

Prohibited Partners

The holy Quran says;

"And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! It was ever lewdness and abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are your mothers and your daughters, and your sisters and your father's sisters and your mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and your mothers-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your mother-in-law and your step-daughters who are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom you have gone into -- but if you have not gone into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) -- and the wives of your sons from your own loins, and that you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Allah is ever-Forgiving, Merciful." [Noble Quran 4:22-24]

From the above verses, it is clear that a Muslim must never marry the following:

His mother

His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father)

His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding mothers' e.g. great grandmothers)

His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond)

His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)

His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters)

His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters)

His brother's daughters

His foster mother

His foster mother's sister

His sister's daughter

His foster sister

His wife's mother

His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not consummated, there is no prohibition)

His real son's wife

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The Quran expects Muslims to act with the utmost propriety and righteousness. It lays down:

"...but do not make a secret contract with them except in honorable terms, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled." [Noble Quran 2:235]