House 114

Apart from it being the only multicoloured building in the vicinity, its occupants daily lifestyle activities were a theatre of absurd. Owned by one of the monarchs in Lagos state, the one-storey building had only four occupants but the day-to-day troubles were similar to that of a public yard being occupied by a larger number of persons. What was most beguiling was that the tenants lived in different flat apartments, except  the two tenants downstairs who shared a corridor.

Don Laz

Don Laz who used to live with his family at the front flat had transformed his home to his office. He was the most revered of the tenants in House 114 and barely condoned the idiosyncrasies of his neighbours. At six feet and four inches tall, he was an intimidating figure. Anytime he barked with his deep baritone voice, everybody disappears, even if he was at fault, which rarely happened.

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Nobody wanted to face the wrath of Don Laz. Moreover, it was rumoured that he used to work in the army. Whether this piece of information was true or not, only Don Laz can tell. No one dared ask him. He usually arrived every morning by 8am. The neighbours knew his arrival time because it coincides with the network news hour and Don Laz had a terrible habit of turning the volume of  his car radio to the highest. So once he drove into the compound, everyone would listen for the familiar voice of the news commentator: "It is 8 O'clock, time for the network news."

The Okpalas

At the back flat lived Okpala and his large family. Okpala was the shortest man in the compound and had the highest number of progeny: five, with one still in the womb. His wife Uzomma was rumoured to have a mental problem because of her constant soliloquy and hot temper. She had a shop at the front of the house where she sold drinks and other petty items. It was once said that she poured water on one of her customers simply because the man demanded for a balance after his purchase. Everyone used to wonder how Okpala was able to pullulate such number of children within 12 years of marriage. More interesting was how he was able to make love to such a tall woman like Uzomma.

When Uzomma was saner, she used to confide in Ugomma whose flat is directly under hers. Like her recent pregnancy, she had told Ugomma on their way back from church one evening that her husband raped her.

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Ugomma almost knocked the goods of a roadside trader in shock. It was the first time she would hear of such an incident. Rape was a criminal act she believed  was committed by armed robbers.  How could a husband rape his wife? She knew the couple fight a lot because she could hear all their conversations from her room, but she doubted it would result to this.  Was it even possible?

Curiously, she asked Uzomma "how?"

Looking ahead as if she wasn't aware of her neighbour's reaction, Uzomma said: 'Remember I told you that I warned him not to get me pregnant again? Hmm... I was sleeping the other night. I didn't know when he removed my wrapper, applied vaseline on my ihem (my thing in Igbo)," she pointed at her vagina,  "and entered me. I thought I was dreaming but when I began to feel very wet and sweet, I opened my eyes.

There he was, on top of me, panting with his big thing going in and out of me. I closed my eyes and bit my lips till I came, then I pushed him away. He refused. Can you imagine he tried pinning me down, " she told Ugomma in disbelief. "But trust me, Abu m Agu (I'm a lion)." she tapped her firm arms. "I pushed him with all my might but was very late," she shook her head in regret, "He already came."

"But that is not rape na. He simply wanted to sleep with you," Ugomma argued.

"Without my consent? Mbanu! That is rape!"

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That was one of the few moments Uzomma had ever been close to any of the tenants. She had issues of her own to worry about. School fees, feeding, and worst of all, Ochara who shared the same flat with them. From the onset, she kicked against having a flatmate, but Okpala's spare parts business could barely provide their meals, let alone, their rent. They needed extra cash to pay the rent.  She disliked Ochara because of his libertine lifestyle.  She hated seeing the women troop in and out of his room, but became very cautious when her first daughter, Chioma reported to her that Ochara had invited her to his room to watch blue film.

"Eh!" Uzomma had exclaimed. "Did he touch you?" she ran her hands over Chidinma's mother as if looking for a mark to show she's been harassed.

"No mummy" replied her 12 year-old daughter. "I ran away."

That night, Uzomma rained all manner of curses on Ochara. The whole tenants listened in on their quarrel. Ochara, on the other hand threatened to beat her up if she didn't respect herself. On one occasion, he had made good of his threat. Unfortunately for Uzomma that fateful evening, her short husband was of no help to her as all he did was run to his neighbours  who were more interested in watching the fight than separating the fighters for help.

The woman who roars like a lion

Fighting was a regular occurrence in House 114. If it is not Ochara fighting with the Okpalas, it will be Mama Charity fighting her other neighbours. She was a belligerent woman who was very popular in the neighbourhood. Her troubles had no limit. At age 55, Mama Charity was strong as a lion. Barely five feet tall and two inches, she was very chubby. Her arms were very muscular. Some said she got the muscles by pounding her  husband who was taller than her daily.

Although, a widow now, Nwanyi Olu Agu (the woman who roars like a lion) as she was nicknamed was still troublesome. Her regular  victims were Ugomma and her husband Obidiegwu. Before Obidiegwu married, Mama Charity liked him. She had even hoped that he would marry her daughter Charity. But he had disappointed her by marrying Ugomma, who was not only tall but beautiful. Ever since her arrival, all the men in the compound had stopped admiring Charity who used to parade her big buttocks for them. All they talked and gushed about was Ugomma's beauty.

This made mother and daughter so green. The only way they could pay Ugomma back was to make her life a living hell. Since they shared a passage way, they deployed devious means to deal with her. From sweeping dust into her doormat, or singing quarrelsome songs to busticating  the washing line where she usually hung her washed clothes. Ugomma had always ignored their evil tricks, thus, it was a very big surprise when she came out this sunny afternoon and gave Mama Charity a big stinging slap on her face.

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"It's about time." murmured Uzomma who was at the backyard at the time, fetching water from the well.

Mama Charity was too shocked to retaliate. She watched blindedly as Ugomma threw her bucket of water away, then packed her baby's clothes and marched inside to her room.

Written by Vay Sylver.

Vay is a journalist and a writer. Nothing excites her more than great stories that inspire and capture the heart. She believes that the art of storytelling is life itself. She is also a feisty lover of arts, culture and lifestyle.