Women Talk Sex: 'I enjoy looking like sex, but I don't like doing it'

‘#WomenTalkSexByPulse’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure, and what women expect good sex to be and feel like. Feel free to fill this tiny form if you'd like to chat with us and feature on this series.

How does it feel to be a baddie who loves giving off heavy sexual energy without much interest in actual sex? This week’s #WomenTalkS3x conversation is with a hot city girl who speaks to us about this and more. Read on.

Tell me about the first time you knew about sex

Believe it or not, I walked in on my parents doing it.

Not mum and dad

I was pretty young at this point sha -- I was only 8 -- and I was still the only child. I’d dreamt and wandered into their room. They put me back to bed and we never spoke about it anymore. My twin siblings were born shortly after but it was during her pregnancy that I clocked that that was how the sex that makes people pregnant worked. Sometimes I look at my twin siblings and be like: ‘you people that I know when you were conceived.’

LOL. Let’s talk about the first time you had sex

Unforgettable stuff. I was 22 already and everyone was doing it so I decided to do it too. I was also ready, I have to add that. But I was also really bothered about how it’d be. I’d heard that it hurt, it gets bloody and all that stuff. So I was not particularly looking forward to having a great time or anything. I just wanted to do it because I had psyched myself up to be ready. The guy I did it with was so experienced. So it made the whole thing not just bearable, but also really nice. I can’t complain, to be honest.

What was most unforgettable about it?

Oh, the foreplay. We had been doing a lot of kissing and making out before then, so I had come to really love it. But I used to think the long making-out sessions were because we weren’t having sex and that he’d want to move to the penetration bit quickly.

Man shook me. Took his time with my body and because I was ready to go all the way, I didn’t stop him from using his hands and mouth on me as he’d always wanted to. By the time we got to penetration, I was completely ready.

Man wey sabi. What’s your sex life looking like now?

I’m not sure this is how other girlies on the streets are doing it but my own version of being on the streets doesn’t involve offing pant a lot. I like being a baddie, I love doing city girl stuff but I don’t particularly like sex that much.

And it’s not like anything bad happened or anything, I just would rather not. But you see looking sexy and having people drool, that’s my thing.

And how’s that going so far?

It’s a little crazy to be an attention whore but not want to off pant. LOL. These men have pointed out the irony of it to me several times but I always manage to not get down except for the few times when I really feel like it. But most importantly, I really believe in crowd control. LOL. Not many people deserve to actually see you naked. If you can avoid sleeping with many men, especially inside this detty Lagos, that is exactly what you should do.

Another advantage of being this type of baddie is that there is never a shortage of men on my case so I have a large pool to pick sensible partners from.

I wonder if this attention-loving plays out in any way when you get down?

I love strip teasing and I once had sex with someone who had a mirror in their bedroom. I thought that was really hot. It has become a goal to have a mirror in my room as well. I look forward to that a lot.

Can I ask when last you got laid?

Maybe a month ago. Before that was New Year’s Day

Entering the new year with a bang. I have to stan a queen

Omo, that night was mad lit. It only made sense for it to end the way it ended. I’ve been thinking of making it a routine since.

Good for you. How would you rate your sex life?

10. It doesn’t get better than this. I am very satisfied, I guess.

Hmmm

I lowkey dread when I will have a long-term partner and I’d have to have sex more often than this.

Maybe you just have a really low sex drive?

I don’t particularly like to think of myself like that. My little vibrator has seen too much action for that to be true.

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