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Love Wednesday Why it's wrong to believe in soul mates & perfect relationships

Using Hollywood's concept of soul mates to decide potential partners is a mistake you need to do away with.

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Forget Hollywood, soul mates don't always come in shining armour play

Forget Hollywood, soul mates don't always come in shining armour


A soul mate is often portrayed as that person who bustles into the picture and your life just perfectly melds with theirs as if you have known each other from the womb.

The image is created and peddled that there's someone you'll meet, with whom everything will be smooth sailing from when you both meet till death do you part.

In reality, however, that is nothing but a cliché that needs to be urgently bundled and tossed down an endless ditch.

Throwback to when love letters used to be a thing play Soul mates and the shining armour cliche don't always go hand in hand (Retror)

Everyone needs to wake up to a realisation that the people who actually end up becoming soul mates in the real sense don't always come in the mold of what Hollywood and romance movies would have you believe.

ALSO READ: 3 millennial lies about dating & relationships

Soul mates may come in the form of that guy or that girl with whom there is no middle ground - you're either riding the waves of ecstatic romance, or clawing at each other like cats and dogs often do.

They could, at the beginning, make you question your own sanity, because, despite the topsy-turviness, you'll find that you still love them as passionately as ever.

Nigerian women have special ways of letting you know they like you play He makes you angry but you'll rather have a whirlwind with him than an idyll with someone else. (Buzz)

That's most likely what Rihanna and Neyo were feeling when they sang 'Hate that I love you.' Pink must have felt that type of way, too, when she wrote her song 'True Love.' [You actually should check out the lyrics of that.]

Signs that a woman is falling in love play That you are soul mates does not mean everything will just suddenly fall in place when you meet them (Mademoiselle)

If you ever feel this way with someone, it's OK. It does not always mean the future of the relationship is doomed, and ultimately, it does not mean that they can never be your soul mate.

Soul mates don't come predestined from heaven. Becoming excellently synced with someone, anyone... it takes time and I like to believe that it's not only the instant connection and hitchless romance you build with someone that qualifies him or her as a soul mate.

The core idea of the soul mate concept, which seems to be lost on many people is that you are actually allowed to grow together through bumps, ride through the mud and somehow emerge smelling like lavendar and vanilla.

A soul mate need not be perfect from the onset. It is the thing of beauty you make of those rough patches that matters.

ALSO READ: 4 unrealisitic relationship ideas romantic movies teach

So while they might come into your life and not be scared to call you out on your bullshit and lay bare your weaknesses and flaws, they'll not be scared to stick around and help you grow past these things.

Relationship goals play The very idea of a soul mate, which seems to be lost on many people is that they help you grow beyond your fears, self-doubts and insecurities. (The Amber Studio)

A soul mate, in the original, truest form will not only stick with you, but also open up their hearts and lay it bare for you to also see their own frailties and vulnerabilities.

You might hate it at first, and the fact that they seem to get under your skin will likely make you kick back, hoping to push them away and shield yourself behind the wall you've always hidden.

But with combined effort, you both can decide to make things work and grow together with a mutual understanding that you are not individually perfect, but together you make an A-team, rising from imperfection to the level of relationship goals.

It does not matter how the relationship starts, once you ride it to that point of complete compatibility and accord, that is when you really, truly become soul mates.

Not before.

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