How your relationship can survive a sex drought

Would your relationship go through a period of sexlessness and still remain the same?

Of course, this is presuming the idea that you and your partner have a sexual relationship and have already engaged in the intimate act many times over. Would there be a balance in the relationship if a partner chooses to abstain for some reason or another – say a super busy schedule or just an intentional withdrawal from the act generally?

Lisa Brateman is a relationship therapist in New York City, USA who says every relationship has the tendency to go through this patches where sex won’t be the highest in the list of priorities couples have.

Your relationship has a tendency of going through a patch of sexlessness and all of its related motions. [Credit: The Rut] An angry black couple [Credit: The Rut] Pulse Nigeria

And it’s true. At some point when the honeymoon phase of a relationship or marriage passes and life’s realities consume one or both partners in other aspects of their lives, it is easy to chuck sex down the pecking order and be consumed by a desire to get other things fixed. Sadly, this is often to the detriment of the sexual spark that the relationship needs to thrive.

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“They’re committed to each other and they fall into that pattern,” she says. But the rut has to eventually end, or it could end up being detrimental for the connection.

“You have to have some sort of intimacy, otherwise it’s just a friendship,” Brateman explains.

You have to have some sort of intimacy, otherwise it’s just a friendship. [Credit: Ebony] Unhappy couple who have not been having enough sex [Credit: Ebony] Pulse Nigeria

Consciously or unconsciously leaving the sexual desire in your relationship to fizzle out is dangerous to the continuous well-being of that relationship. While the pursuit of happiness in other facets of life is really important, finding a good balance between that and the intimacy level in your relationship is really needed.

If it means communicating with a partner to arrest a decline in the amount of times your sexual needs are being met, do not hesitate to do so.

“It’s a hard thing to talk about honestly, but it’s harder not to talk about it,” Brateman says.

Sexually frustrated woman moping [Credit: Ebony Mag] Sexually frustrated woman moping [Credit: Ebony Mag] Pulse Nigeria

Just ensure that you are engaging in a conversation with the aim of restoking the dying embers of your intimate lifestyle.

“You’re opening up a conversation; it doesn’t have to be a confrontation,” she concludes.

If your relationship must truly survive a sex drought, the best way is to ensure that it never really happens. Afterall, prevention is always better than cure, no?