ADVERTISEMENT

Let's talk about the struggle of crushing on other people while in a relationship

Even marriage might not stop you from being seriously attracted to other people. How does it feel to be in this situation?

Happy woman on a date [Credit everyday feminism]

One of the most underrated struggles people in relationships face is how to handle themselves when they have serious crush on other people.

Here’s the thing: being genuinely in love with a man or woman does not magically take away the inclination to be attracted or to fall in love with other people.

If you think that getting your dream guy will automatically make you immune to every other man, you are on a long thing. As a matter of fact, life seems to somehow have a way of bringing the most amazing people of the opposite sex your way just after you have already gotten into a relationship or decided to settle down with someone.

ADVERTISEMENT

For example, if you have been following the popular Starz series, “Power”, you must have seen that episode, where Tasha [Naturi Naughton] was wondering out loud at the different course her life might have taken if she had met her husband’s lawyer, Terry Silver [Brandon Dixon] earlier than she did.

Getting into a serious relationship or even walking down the aisle to recite your wedding vows in front of God and man will not stop you from being attracted to other people. It’s all part of the natural process. It’s one of the struggles you’ll likely experience and temptations you’ll have fight off to stay true to your partner.

When you find yourself attracted to someone while in an exclusive relationship with someone else, one of the things that you’ll have to wrestle with is the consideration of what could have been… the feeling of having moved too fast.

ADVERTISEMENT

You’ll find yourself wondering what could have happened if you had waited a bit longer and if life would have been different with this new person instead of your partner.

But you really can’t allow yourself dwell on all that.

You know the grass is not always greener on the other side, and risking your relationship for something as uncertain and [possibly] fleeting as an attraction could have disastrous, regretful consequences; especially if your relationship is going on pretty well already.

It’ll require a lot of discipline, especially if it’s a kind of lure that refuses to go away or one that you find yourself getting too weak to fight.

ADVERTISEMENT

You will also find yourself making comparisons between both people, and there's every likelihood that your partner will lack in some areas where that other person excels.

One thing that’ll help is to think about what you are attracted to in that new man or woman and see if there are ways you can improve on those things in your partner and/or in your relationship.

If your attraction is fixed on things you can’t change or modify, just remind yourself of all the good things your partner does right… all the good things that made you say yes in the first instance.

ADVERTISEMENT

Also try as much as possible to limit contact with such person.

In the end, it boils down to how committed you are to that partner and your relationship.

If it’s worth it, you’ll fight to make it work, even if it means passing up the opportunity to chase [and get] some of the gorgeous men and women you’ll ever see in your life.

JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!

Unblock notifications in browser settings.
ADVERTISEMENT

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng

Recommended articles

These are the 3 most error-prone types of people you'll ever meet — run from them

These are the 3 most error-prone types of people you'll ever meet — run from them

10 ways to avoid getting electrocuted when using a vibrator

10 ways to avoid getting electrocuted when using a vibrator

Here is your sign to stop dating that broke girl

Here is your sign to stop dating that broke girl

Fun, Networking & Tech: Everything you need to know about UnwindFest (TechUnwind)

Fun, Networking & Tech: Everything you need to know about UnwindFest (TechUnwind)

Before you date a rich girl here are 4 things you should know

Before you date a rich girl here are 4 things you should know

I was with my sister in the delivery room — 3 things shocked me about childbirth

I was with my sister in the delivery room — 3 things shocked me about childbirth

5 important reasons architects install air condition vents on buildings

5 important reasons architects install air condition vents on buildings

Pulse Bizarre Bites: Okro soup & rice, a combo for Nigerian millennials or just odd?

Pulse Bizarre Bites: Okro soup & rice, a combo for Nigerian millennials or just odd?

Masturbation voted as the most difficult addiction to break

Masturbation voted as the most difficult addiction to break

'I felt like I'd been thrown off track' – food blogger Sisi Yemmie on having twins

'I felt like I'd been thrown off track' – food blogger Sisi Yemmie on having twins

What's the best age difference in romantic relationships?

What's the best age difference in romantic relationships?

3 easy ways you can warm eba

3 easy ways you can warm eba

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT