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Dating while still living at home? Here is how it feels

Dating while still living with your parents could be a really tricky thing. This is especially with African parents who are usually still torn between ‘stay away from boys’ and ‘when will you marry?’

How it feels to have a boyfriend while still living with mummy and daddy  [Credit: PeopleImages/Getty Images]

Whether with your own parents or another guardian, here are things to expect when you are dating while still under a Nigerian parent’s roof:

Curfew

Obviously, this is the major difference between living by yourself and living with your folks while dating. Especially when in your early 20’s and yet to finish uni, there is only so much you can do. This is because many times, your relationship will likely be a secret and whatever you are doing definitely needs to be over before 8pm when you would be required to be back home.

And 8pm is even what you get when you have really liberal parents.

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Sleeping over at your boo’s house is ‘night vigil’

You definitely cannot admit to your mum and dad that you are going to spend the night in a man’s house or cooped up in a girl’s one bedroom apartment somewhere in Sangotedo.

So, you tell them the one thing they would be glad to hear and would willingly acquiesce to: “I am going for a vigil.”

If they know you are dating someone…

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If, somehow you are cool with your parents, or if they notice a pattern and decide to ask you about your love life and you admit to them that you’ve got someone, best believe they’ll soon start pressuring you for an introduction, even if you tell them it is just something you are taking slowly and at one step at a time.

The pressure may not be so much if you are away from home.

Rain on your parade

Your plan to get-away with boo for a whole day may get truncated as your parent may decide to cancel your permission to go out at the very last minute.

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You know, because that’s just how Nigerian parents do.

You can't even grieve a heartbreak in peace

Sure enough, anyone who is going to break your heart will not desist from doing so because you are still mummy's boy or Daddy's girl. These things happen regardless of where you live.

Now imagine needing time to cry in peace when a relationship fails and you're really hurt. Chances of that are slim in a Nigerian parent's home as opposed to when you are by yourself.

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