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3 major lessons to learn after a break up

Whether a relationship ended abruptly or was a long overdue separation, the pain is no less. How do you handle it to benefit you?

How to deal with a break up

1. You’re stronger than you think

Often times, those who love the hardest usually get hurt the most. They get devastated when a relationship comes to a close, even if they were the ones who pull the plug. Losing the one you love has a way of making you feel like you’ll never be whole again. But it can also be one of the most freeing experiences of your life if you allow it to be. Instead of sleeping in self-pity, take time to get to know yourself again. Search for ways to enjoy being alone and your confidence, strength and resilience will return. If it was never present, then you’ve got some work to do, and a relationship should not have been your primary focus to begin with.

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2. Don’t focus who is to be blamed

When a relationship ends, one of the first things we do is attempt to figure out what went wrong or who to blame. While it is good to reflect on the cause of the split, dwelling in the place of blame is detrimental to your growth. It breeds resentment and keeps you in the habitat of stagnation. The best lesson one can learn is that of acceptance. Also take fault in the break up, and accept that your former mate might not. How they choose to deal with the relationship ending is none of your business but focusing more on improvements and perhaps forgiveness for next time will lighten your load of pain and hate.

3. Loving Again is Ultimately a Choice YOU have to make

After a major split, it becomes your choice to decide if love will be in your life. Nobody can prevent you from having and making that choice no matter what they’ve done. If you choose to build a wall and be heartless, that’s on you. Simply realize that you can be held captive by what others have done to you. The pain of heartbreak should linger only for a short while  but the length of time you let it stay within you is totally a personal choice.

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