‘I started using the pill after sex because I don’t trust men’ - Single woman
Sheba tells us how she tries not to get pregnant despite being sexually active and having multiple partners.
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Today is World Contraceptive Day. So, we spoke to Sheba, who shared her experience with choosing the right contraceptive.
"When I started having sex, one surprising thing was how men did not like using condoms, even with the fear of HIV. One guy once told me, “Does it look like I have HIV?” It reminded me of that song I heard when I was growing up: "HIV no dey show for face.” There’s a lot of stigma associated with being HIV-positive, and one of them is that people look sickly, but an HIV-positive person can look fat and robust. Another excuse I heard from men who did want to use condoms was "I’ve been tested before" or that sex is better raw. I try not to fall for those things, but I have fallen once or twice."
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"But even when men use condoms, I still take the pill—call it two-factor authentication—in case the condom bursts or something. The responsibility of pregnancy and childcare will fall on me not him and if he doesn't like me enough for a relationship, having his child will be a mistake. I knew that I didn’t want to get pregnant out of wedlock and that I didn’t want to have to have an abortion, so I knew I couldn’t be reckless with sex. The problem was finding the right contraceptive. I didn’t want an IUD. I heard stories about how painful it is to insert, how it hurts even after insertion, and how it causes crazy mood swings. I didn’t want to take the birth control pill every day; it leads to water weight, and I didn’t want to look bloated. I soon realized that every contraceptive method has its disadvantages and advantages. The only safe way not to get pregnant is not to have sex."
!['I started using the morning after pill because it is quite effective' [istockphoto]](data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf8,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D'http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg'%20width%3D'612'%20height%3D'408'%20data-ring-placeholder%3D'1'%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E "'I started using the morning after pill because it is quite effective' [istockphoto]")
'I started using the morning after pill because it is quite effective' [istockphoto]
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"I usually use the morning-after pill after sex because it’s quite effective, though it ruins my menstrual circle. When I use it, my period is a week late or even more and that makes me worried that I have gotten pregnant."
"Another thing that happens when I use the pill is that there is a lot of blood, and my flow is usually so heavy that I have to change my pad three times a day. There are times when I have a period twice a month."
"For me, the positives of using the morning pill are that it reduces menstrual cramps and doesn’t mess with my hormones or body by making me gain weight."
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"I have heard about women who used the pill and still got pregnant, so I am still scared whenever I have unprotected sex and use the morning-after pill. Contraceptives are not entirely foolproof; I just take the gamble and hope it pays off, though it won't protect me from sexually transmitted infections."
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