Moving around Lagos is not easy if you do not have a car. Sometimes, you have to take a danfo (bus) because private cab fares can cause death by poverty.
Danfo drivers, passengers, LASTMA officers in charge of traffic can make the danfo trip interesting.
Here are some highlights;
1. Heat
The unbearable heat from being jampacked in the car like goats, while sitting on a wooden chair is one of the worst things about taking a danfo, but when you look at your monthly salary and the cost of a private cab, you will be immediately humbled.
2. Agberos and bus conductors
If you look at it from a humorous perspective, agberos (touts) are funny. Their mannerisms are so rough, crude and they are perpetually struggling to collect money from the bus driver.
Most agberos say 'Shey o ti ya weyrey’ 'meaning ‘have you gone mad?’ and 'waso' which means N50, 'figo' which means N500.
Bus conductors on the other hand are like air hostesses to danfo buses, they ensure everything goes smoothly, collect the money, distribute change and are responsible for handling the agberos.
They also say; "Wo le pelu change e?" alot and sing the names of place like "Ketu,Ojota,Mile 12."
3. Troublesome passengers
Some passengers are not preachers of peace, but of war, they will come with war in mind and will fight with everyone especially the bus conductors.
This type of passenger will enter with N1,000 note and will not disclose it but sit down gleefully while the conductor cusses them out when it is time to get off.
4. Hawkers
Hawkers run faster than Usain Bolt when selling their wares, usually soft drinks, gala, popcorn and chips. They run so fast you wonder how they have such superhuman strength.
5. Buses that don’t work
Expect the bus to develop a fault. Every danfo on the street of Lagos is surviving only by superhuman strength and the grace of God which means they can stop working at any given moment.