''Name change'' after marriage - my opinion

So you want to get married, spend your lifetime with that special person? That's remarkable but do you know you can still keep your father's name despite your marital status?

I used to think it was fancy to actually bear your husband's last name once married but I was curious to know why it's not the other way around. I mean why can't the guy change his last name to that of his beloved spouse?

You'll be surprised at the number of women currently facing issues at school, work and even banks from having different last names. I just had to do a personal research on this and I realized it was not mandatory for women to change their last names except of course by choice.

I know some people will argue that a woman is expected to take her husband's last name once married, but there's actually no law backing that up. Personally I think the decision to change her last name should be left to the woman in question it shouldn't be enforced on her. Already, she has given up so much of herself in marriage why shouldn't this little detail be overlooked?

I know the African culture especially the Nigerian culture expects a woman to bear her husband's last name because of the the whole idea of being submissive and all but submission shouldn't be taken for granted, a woman's name is her identity before she met her husband, it shouldn't be snatched from her.

Moreover, there's the idea of making it a compound name which is adding your husband's last name to that of your father e.g Bisi Smith married to Fowler; now Bisi Smith-Fowler. It's a win win situation for both parties but some very domineering men won't agree to it.

When you think about all the legal paperwork that is involved in change of name and time spent getting affidavits, I'd rather stick with my father's name. Seriously,, I've a friend who has been shuttling between work and her bank because her I.D card bears a name different from the one she opened an account with. Also she registered her BVN with her maiden name but she got married almost immediately after registration.

The disturbing situation now is she has been denied access to that account, withdrawal, POS, online,  mobile banking and even deposits until the issue is resolved. She has written to the bank headquarters for several weeks now, she's in dire need of money yet all her funds are locked into an account she can't access just because of a subtle discrepancy; her last name.

I'd like you to understand my point, I'm not encouraging women to rebel against the wish of their husbands. I'm just saying what I feel about this whole idea of taking my husband's name. I love my maiden name, and I'd expect my future husband to respect the fact that I'm retaining it.

So long!

Written by Adekunbi Bello.

Bello Adekunbi "Kunbella" is an effervescent soul, bookish and loves watching classical movies. If she's not writing, taking long strolls on the beach or dancing, her head will definitely be buried in a book. Catch her on Instagram @kunbi_bello, Twitter @adekunbi_bello or Google #kunbellawrites