Does religion really condone Domestic Violence against Nigerian women? [Pulse Explainer]

Over the second weekend of April 2022, Nigerians [particularly on social media] were gripped by the sad news of Osinachi Nwachukwu's death. Osinachi was a gospel artiste whose most famous work, “Ekwueme,” a collaborative hit with Prospa Ochimana, had the country’s gospel music scene under a spell in 2019.

Initial reports pointed to throat cancer as cause of death but eventually, another story gained momentum which has now changed the entire course of the conversation surrounding her demise. Osinachi’s family members and colleagues say she was beaten to death by her husband, Peter Nwachukwu, who has now been arrested by the police.

Beside the obvious and necessary calls for justice and the renewed vigour with which domestic violence in Nigerian marriages is being called out online, another subset of the conversation has been about the role of the Nigerian church in all of this. The question on everyone’s lips seems to be: if many people knew, why wasn’t anything done?

Mind you, while Osinachi’s regrettable demise is the propellant for this conversation this time around, it is not just about her. The church’s, and on a broader scale, religion’s apparent coddling of domestic assault and spousal abuse is a bigger menace, a wider-reaching jeopardy which many, many Nigerian women are familiar with. Again, one has to ask: why aren’t religious bodies doing anything [or much] to help their female congregants faced with such life-threatening perils?

The answer is tricky, often an interplay between societal expectations, financial obligations and religion.

What are Christianity and Islam saying about domestic violence and divorce?

The Christian doctrine preaches the leadership of the husband and the submission of the wife, but does it in any way condone violence? No, it doesn’t.

Ephesians 5: 28-29 says “Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it as Christ does the church.”

Islam preaches something similar. I asked an Islamic scholar, a renowned lecturer at Crescent University, what the Quran had to say about love and marriage. “Allah wants us to marry, he knows our lives will be unfulfilled without marriage. He created relationships for love and tenderness. He told husbands to feed and clothe their wives,” was his response to my enquiry.

Since we have established the idea that marriage is supposed to be about love and tenderness, what happens when a man beats a woman. Can she divorce him?

A pastor of a popular church in Port Harcourt had this to say about domestic violence and divorce in Christianity. “Domestic violence is not a ground for divorce under Christianity, but I believe the woman should pack out until it is guaranteed that the man has changed,” he said.

“There is no precedent in the bible for divorce, marriage is supposed to be forever even though extenuating circumstances can make it wise to dissolve or separate the marriage. It is a hard pill to swallow but it is what it is.”

Under Islamic law, a woman cannot get a divorce from her husband, only a man can and in some cases he is permitted to strike her. According to the Quran, “If your wife is behaving wrongly or is being destructive, continue telling her and persuade her to stop. If she does not change, you should create space in your matrimonial bed, that is, abstain from intimate relations.”

If all these do not work, the prophet Mohammed said you can use the two fingers to strike her lap or a place where no one can see it. The reason why two fingers are emphasized is to show that there should not be severity in the ‘strike’ and it cannot be on her face or arms. If he has done all this then he can seek divorce by saying, ‘I divorce you' three times. After that, she will still spend three months and 11 days under his roof, he will continue to feed her but they must not have intercourse, once they do, the marriage is back on.

Both religions do not make divorce an option and with the stigma of divorce and the doctrine of submission prevailing in the minds of many Nigerian women, they may stay in such marriages.

Many popular pastors and priests have condemned the evil perpetrated on Osinachi and have taken turns to advise women to stay away from men who beat them but how does this play out in real life?

Far too many times in real life, these issues are swept under the carpet until it is too late while in other cases, people try to reconcile the couple instead of taking the woman as far away as possible.

Obviously a lot has to change about any culture that represses the freedom to exit situations of physical harm and threat to life. But when exactly will that happen despite the repeated calls and campaigns against abuse and domestic violence done on women?

High hopes, but maybe this is the final jolt that the church, the Islamic community, family and friends need to always, always remove a woman from an abusive man regardless of any marital vow.

Because when you really think about it, life will always be more sacred than marriage.