Dating in Lagos: How to know if they just want free food

You've probably heard people talk negatively about dating in Lagos. The truth is that they have the right to, because dating in Lagos is not as straightforward as you'd like.

In fact, it's filled with drama, and only the stronghearted can survive it. Sometimes, the connection looks real and magical.

At other times, it resembles an endless stream of restaurant outings. But how can you know when they're genuine and when they are just there for the free food each date offers them?

Let's string it together.

ALSO READ: How colourism shapes mate selection, dating and attraction in Nigeria

You barely know enough about each other before the topic of eating comes up. With such people, every chat will feel like another time to endlessly suggest restaurants and joints. We understand that Lagos is filled with numerous exciting new places to explore, but if food is the only theme they bring to the table, you may be more of a free food ticket than a potential partner.

Suggest a movie night, karaoke, a beach day or even something free like a walk at Freedom Park, and suddenly they are busy. Yet the moment you propose trying a new shawarma spot or Chinese restaurant, their calendar miraculously opens up.

That pattern speaks volumes. Genuine interest is evident in various activities, not just when a plate of jollof rice or sushi is involved. If food dates are the only thing that excites them, you already have your answer.

You may have noticed how they leave your calls unanswered or reply to your texts hours later, but the instant you mention food, their response comes in seconds. It is not your network playing tricks on you; it is simply a matter of selective motivation.

Someone who is truly interested in you will be eager to chat about different topics, not just for the chance to enjoy free cocktails and small snacks. If food is the only trigger, be alert.

A real relationship in Lagos requires more than showing up for a meal. There should be balance in effort, initiative and care. If they never suggest plans, never initiate conversations and only appear when there is an outing, you should pause. It is easy to confuse attention with affection when all the attention is tied to restaurant menus. Ask yourself if they are really investing in you as a person or just investing in free amala and pepper soup.

ALSO READ: Childfree Dating: How to Find a Partner Who Doesn’t Want Kids

If you have taken them out multiple times and all they ever ask is when the next food date will be, it is time to reflect. A partner who truly values you will offer something back, even if it is small. It could be cooking a meal, buying you snacks in traffic, or suggesting an affordable place to hang out. If nothing ever comes in return except another request for dinner, you are not dating; you are catering.