SexVille Tuesday: 10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

dachen

November 13, 2013 5:00 PM

Thank God for another Tuesday and yet another day to tango on SexVille. I am quite sure you really enjoyed our guest writer, Dr. (Mrs.) Roseline Okeke. I am sure you had a nice time with her. Today, I want to take another break as I have Mrs. Felicia Alabi, a marriage counselor and sex therapist, who will teach us the 10 ways to save a dwindling marriage. Enjoy her.

1. Get better at sex.

Let's face it, a boring sex life can be marriage suicide. Committing to improving sex - and having it even when you're tired - can make a big difference. You'll get an A for effort and - you hope - a big «O» to boot. Married couples have a tendency to let sex get stale or to fall off their busy schedules all together. But the intimate act of having sex keeps couples close, helps relieve stress, and can be good for your overall health and the health of your marriage. And there's always room for improvement, so keep at it, people.

2. Make time for fun.

When you're dating, you literally schedule fun time with one another (until and unless you move in together). Fun should not just stop because you got married. In fact, the fun should increase. There are no excuses. Now, you're together all the time, so you should be able to have more moments of spontaneity, as well as scheduled fun. Have date nights, make nights at home special with candlelit dinners or a couples bath or movies and popcorn, and simply relish in each other's arms.

3. Make Money

Money is a big trigger for fights in marriages. But you'll probably find that if you have money - enough to pay bills, have a little fun, and live reasonably well - you'll probably fight less. When one of you wants to overspend, especially with money you don't have, or gets into debt that you can't pay off, then you'll start to argue big time. Making money, which means bringing in revenue and not just spending like crazy, will go a long way to help you and your spouse stop the money fights.

4. Don't cheat.

Few situations erode a marriage quite like infidelity or cheating. There's a simple solution. Only marry someone if you plan to be faithful forever. Then, be faithful. Don't cheat. Don't lie about relationships with other people. Cheating will only lead to mistrust, arguments, and an uphill battle to winning your marriage back. There's a good chance you won't win your marriage back and it will simply end because of your cheating. You'll have no one to blame but yourself.

5. Don’t bad mouthing your in-laws.

Your in-laws probably stink. They make your life difficult and your marriage harder than it probably has to be. They are annoying and maybe even a little crazy. We get it. We've all been there. But talking badly about them or complaining about them to your spouse only hurts his or her feelings and does not resolve any issues. Be kind to your in-laws and when in-law issues come up that you must address with your spouse, remain calm and diplomatic.

Watch out for the concluding part of this very interesting topic next week.

NB: Click here for past editions of SexVille Tuesday

dachen