A Snake in JAMB's office is worth 100 Nigerian politicians

Where else, but in Nigeria, where rodents chased a sitting President from his office, would a snake be fingered for swallowing millions of Naira in public funds?

Yes. You read that right.

This week's prop of the week goes to the mystery snake that is said to have snuck into the Makurdi office of the Joint Admission and Matriculations Board (JAMB) and swallowed the sum of 36 million naira in cash.

The discovery was made when a sales clerk, Philomena Cheishe told the board's registrar that she could not account for the proceeds of scratch cards sold in previous years because, get this, "her housemaid had connived to "spiritually" steal the money from the vault in the accounts office".

I'm actually tired.

In the last 32 months or so, we have heard all sorts of excuses from persons accused of stealing public funds. While some like Diezani Allison-Madueke have pulled the medical card, Olisa Metuh took it a step further by appearing in court on a stretcher as evidence of his ill-health (but not of his innocence).

Nigerian politicians (and civil servants, for that matter) have instituted a culture of corruption that has earned us a reputation the world over, yet it is a snake that has pulled off what none of them could, or thought about doing.

No ledgers signed, no letters requesting funds to be transferred to the ministry. Just enter the vault and swallow as much as you need.

This snake deserves our commendation because, even though it pulled off a spectacular act, it must have been well aware that after all the idiocy and madness we have had to put up with as Nigerians in the last few years, a money-swallowing snake would not surprise us in the least.

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It is this raw defiance and rare insight that earns it our nod for Prop of the week; here we have a snake who understands how Nigerians think and operate, so without a name or an official position, it gifts us a story that will amuse us more than it will annoy us, while 36 million naira digests in its belly.

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It is a mixture of empathy and intelligence, something you couldn't squeeze out of 100 Nigerian politicians.

We are yet to know what political party this snake belongs to and we'll be interested to know what it plans to do in the upcoming elections.

We have questions though. How did it find out there was money in the vault? How did it manage to swallow 36 million in cash? Who is its political godfather?

Nnamdi Kanu must have been on to something when he called this country a Zoo.