I Caught My Husband Having Sex With Our 9-year-old Son!

Hi Joan,

Thank you for trying to help us all with our sex lives and May God bless you for that. I am Mrs. Sade and have been married for 15 years to the best husband i could ever wish for. But in August last year, I caught my own husband trying to sleep with our son [9-years-old] in our house. Believe me Joan, I felt like killing him but I fainted at the sight of him behind Kevin, stack naked with his d**k hard. I have left his house with my kids but I am still in total shock. He’s been begging and apologizing saying he doesn't know why he did it. But it was last week that Kevin revealed that his dad had been sleeping with him for two years now. Please what should I do?

Sade, Lagos

Dear Mrs. Sade,

I am as shocked as you are to hear your sad story. But first thing first, you need to get your son for a thorough medical check up at a good hospital. He will need therapy and psychological check, else he may end up being a gay.

Please don’t look at his differently, love him and give him the sex talk once you think he’s getting out of that mess his dad has put him in.

As for your husband, what he did was a crime by law. For me, he was raping your son and luring him into homosexuality which is unacceptable. In fact I am super shocked; he’s not behind bars by now. Have you reported him to the police? Why do you keep allowing him beside you and your kids. Did he say anything why he now has feeling for men and not you? I think he should be locked up and tried.

For yourself, you need to talk to a psychologist. Not because you are running mad but what you've heard and seen could easily send you to a mental clinic in future. It’s shocking, overwhelming and you feel angry. You may even be blaming yourself for not noticing the changes before now or questioning why your little boy didn't confine in you. You need to stop! It’s not the time. It’s good you've left your husband and it’s time to treat your son and yourself back to sanity. Work on that. Go see a counsellor.

Untill you do that, sweet heart, you may never recover from this horror. Talk to me again when you do ok. I’m very sorry.

Hello, I’m married with 2 kids but I’ve a problem. I don't have any feelings or whatsoever for my husband again. In fact, I usually find it so difficult to make love to him. What do I do?

Annonymous

Hello Dear,

I understand it’s hard to believe what you are feeling; doubting if it’s true or not. But this a common feeling among married people. After two lovely children and so many years spent together, you feel like the love has died.

Well, I will advise both of you should go for some help, therapy or counselling. The love has gone nowhere, believe me, it just needs a little resurrection. Why not you go back to those remarkable experiences both of you shared during courtship and/or even before children came to the picture? Why not try a private romantic vacation to someplace of your dream? Why not have those special dinner-for-two sessions with your best R&B songs playing in the background?

All these things renew love in marriages. Except you are saying you never loved him from the start. My great-grand-mother used to say, "you find the right one just once, not twice". So, if he was your Mr. Right, then make it work again instead of running.

Like I usually say communicate how you feel to him in a nice way and allow the both of you work it out for the sake of those beautiful kids. Trust me, you don’t want your children living with divorced parents. It’s very demoralizing.

Don’t leave until death do you part!

My boyfriend (aged 28) always brings up the topic of us having a baby soon. As soon as I try to go into detail in this conversation, he blocks totally. But it would be important for me to know how our everyday life would look like then. From my point of view, we don't have to rush things there but I would really like to know his idea about raising a child.

Martha, Ekiti State

Dear Martha,

Generally, it is a good sign that your boyfriend talks about children because it means that he wants to be with you and can imagine a future together with you. The fact that he tries to escape the conversation as soon as it gets down in exchange with more serious thoughts in this matter is maddening, I understand.

I would advise you to try and talk about this topic on the same level and from the same perspective. You generally agree on the same idea, which is a good point to start from. For both of you a family is your dream; it's just not in the near future yet.

Tell your boyfriend that the topic of starting a family is more important for you than a mere fantasy and it’s something that will change your lives for good. Let him know that you would really like to talk about that with him but in more detail. Communication is key!

Thanks for all your mails, please keep them coming. Send your mails to joanonsex@ringier.ng . I'm right here for you!